Harlow and the Boys

St. Wenceslas Square and Prague

2011-09-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

Windmills, Clogs and Canals

2011-09-16T09:40:00.000-07:00

Hot Peppers

2011-09-12T15:42:00.001-07:00

We're going on vacation...

2011-09-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

I've been working on another 'house' post, but I'm distracted to no end with the idea of vacation. I will resume my 'house' posts after our return, until then posts from abroad most likely will appear here instead, and that could be interesting, right?

So for those that are periodically checking in, patience will pay off. Until then, enjoy our travel portion, or not.

Peace.

Garden Forage

2011-09-05T17:11:00.000-07:00

Food Porn

2011-08-28T18:33:00.001-07:00

Garden Three-Bean Salad with fresh French Dressing.

We got this recipe out of the June issue of Better Homes and Garden. It's been floating around for a while. We were out in the garden today and I pointed out the nice crop of green beans that were ready. When we came back in, Nick pulled out the page from it's current pile and said let's make this salad.

Over all, it was a tasty salad. The only ingredient that we could pull from the garden was the green beans. The chickens destroyed our lettuce crop, which sucks because we had the prettiest heads of butter crunch lettuce that would of been picture perfect. I would like to point out too, that I think that our chickens have discerning taste or just really good timing. Because until just a week ago, the lettuce remained unmolested. From starts the chickens picked and scratched around the plants leaving them alone. But once the lettuce started to get to that perfect stage, boom! Carnage. They are now banned.

Well, a quick run to the store didn't turn up any butter crunch so red and green leaf had to fill in. However, I almost went for an iceberg head, thinking the cold crispness would pair nicely. I'm almost wishing I had gone with that. The leaf lettuce just didn't have that crisp crunch I wanted.

The best part of the salad was the combination of beans. We love edamame and cannellini beans and I would not of thought to use them together, but the pairings with the fresh dressing and the fresh green beans was perfect. It made for a nice dinner on a summery day, not to mention the slight hangover we have from our overnight wedding reception. With our salad we had a nice, young bottle of Smart Water.

Here's the recipe (as seen in BHG magazine):
2 cups fresh green beans (trimmed)
8 cups mixed greens
2 cups frozen edamame (thawed)
1 cup canned white beans (cannellini: drained and rinsed)
1 cup radishes sliced
1 recipe Fresh French Dressing (follows)

Dressing:
in blender combine 2 medium tomatoes that have been seeded and quarterd; 1/4 cup olive oil; 2-3 Tbsp red wine vinegar; 2 Tbsp tomato paste; 1 Tbsp snipped tarragon; and 2 tsp dijon mustard. Cover and process until thoroughly blended. Season with salt and pepper to taste. If it's too runny, add more paste and process further. Refrigerate.

Microwave the green beans in a microwave safe bowl with 1/4 cup water and 1 tsp salt uncovered for about 3.5 - 5 mins on high. Set aside and allow to cool. (I took them out at 3.5 minutes, and then rinsed them with cold water to stop the cooking. I like my beans tender crisp. Nick ate them like french fries!)

The recipe says to toss everything together and dress lightly with the dressing. I like assembling a bowl by layers and then applying the dressing. It was appetizing, it spared the ingredients that were leftover from being soggy and unappealing. I now have left over ingredients to make a bowl for lunch tomorrow.

If you try the dressing recipe, let me know. I'm curious to hear your thoughts and want to tweak it. It was okay, good even, but something was lacking.

Tithonia rotundiflora 'Mexican Sunflower'

2011-08-27T08:41:00.001-07:00

Food Porn

2011-08-22T17:23:00.000-07:00

I love the color of fresh eggs. I know, five eggs for breakfast seems excessive. In my defense, these are bantam size. This is a salad plate. So I have to cook more to have the same portion size of large eggs. Right?

Up Next...

2011-08-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

Getting to this next post took longer than I would have liked. I've been traveling quite a bit and feeling run down. Time to get going again...

I mentioned that while we were in the process of looking at the house in Bothell that we had also looked at another home, the one we are in now. So, going back a little, we did look at this house and at that time no one had been living in it for over a year. We first looked at in April or May. It was musty, dirty and a little creepy.

One of the first things that became obvious to me was that the basement was a pot growing operation at one time. There were a lot of extra walls, the distinct odor of cannabis, and the reroute of the house's 220v line. In the the back where the laundry and furnace were, there was extra insulation, sound proofing if you will. Probably because the generator was so loud.

It was in rough condition, smelled bad and the property was this long weedy jungle. All in all it was not inspiring.

After the demise of the other opportunity, we discovered that this house had been reduced. Surprisingly, we took a fresh take on the house and began to really look at it. After going through the inspection, we started evaluating things about this house and saw that it wasn't in nearly as a bad a shape as we thought. In fact, this house felt pretty sound.

We went ahead and made an offer and got accepted. We ordered an inspection and went through the whole process all over again, but this time we kept feeling better and better as we went. There were some definite problems: leaky pipes and drains in the bathrooms, someone stole the hot water heater right before the inspection, the deck was rotten, the carpet was soiled heavily, there were rats and ivy and black berry vines were swallowing the house, it was a short sale and...well, you get the idea.

After all that, we agreed to buy the house. I think Nick was more on board even before the offer. It took me awhile to really find my inspiration. I think I was hung up on the scope of the property. I could see that it was huge, but the shape of it daunted me. Our last house sat in the middle of the property, providing me with garden rooms. I had all these little zones to play in. This one has all the yard in one place. I remember driving up to the house on my days off and staring at the back yard from the deck and sitting down below for like an hour trying to visualize my new space. I'm still trying to find my vision, but I've made some progress a year later.

The most unexpected thing out of all of this was how quickly we would a)buy and close on a new house (that was in short sale) and b) sell and move out of our old house. Short sale houses were taking up to six months to close, let alone take possession. We figured that our old house would take at least that long if not longer to sell, and considered the possibility of it becoming a rental until it did sell. Our old house sold via word of mouth. We never did list it. In fact, within a six week period we bought and sold and moved. We were in a total whirlwind the whole time. Our emotions about selling our first home together completely caught us off guard. Everything was happening so fast and before we knew it, were here.

Cicada

2011-08-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

Found this dude while shopping in/near Philadelphia.

Food Porn

2011-08-14T16:43:00.000-07:00

Food Porn: Cheesesteak Eggrolls at The Continental in Philadelphia.

Where to begin?

2011-08-11T20:45:00.001-07:00

You have to start somewhere, and we've been trying to decide how to jump in when a whole year has passed at this point. My thought was to try and post from the beginning, to tell the story of how we even got to 'here' in the first place.

I guess it started when we realized that there wasn't going to be a lot we could do with the old house, at least not with out a sizable investment from us in the money department. We had a couple different contractors come out and give us some ideas about what we could or couldn't do with the existing structure. We needed to know what the best direction to go in would be if we were going to even try to do something. We looked at raising the roof and adding a second floor, but the house was not structurally sound enough to support a second floor. We thought maybe if we raised the main floor and finished the basement, and that got us a maybe, but not without significant rework and structural issues. That left us with expanding off the back of the house, which was pretty much the only option. We couldn't do that for anything less than $150k and that didn't include the finish work.

With that in mind, we set out to see what we could get for our money. This set in motion the search. We spent a good deal of time looking online at listings and time on Sundays driving around and checking things out in person, often running away quickly. Invariably, something would be wrong, the neighborhood, the age, the style. It wasn't until we stumbled onto a house in foreclosure, and most of the houses at that time were in some form of short sale or foreclosure, that we found a house that really resonated with both of us.

After having an older home, circa 1935, we both agreed that we were more interested in something a little younger. We are very drawn to 50's to early 60's style homes and loved the idea of a mid-century modern design aesthetic. We found what looked like a mid-century modern jewel that was neglected and in need of love. The property was perfect and it screamed out to us from the "full of potential" point of view. We drove by it every chance we got and walked around it and in it. Turns out the door on the back of the house was not secure. It wasn't like we were trying to break in, we just tried the door and it opened. This fueled our fascination and allowed us to really get invested emotionally.

We contacted our agent and arranged a 'proper' viewing and decided to make an offer. In the interim, he also took us to see the current house we are in now, but we couldn't be tempted. We were in love with this property. We could see all the landscape potential. We could see all the remodel work that could bring it up to date and still play up it's mid-century lines. It consumed our free time and our days off.

Our offer was accepted and we scheduled an inspection. I don't know how to describe the feeling we had after about an hour into the inspection. Nick had to excuse himself. I hung in there and followed the inspector from room to roof, to septic tank and to the kitchen. Everywhere we looked, every thing we saw, did nothing but doom this house. I knew after an hour that our pockets were never going to be deep enough to bring this house back from the precipice it had so clearly fallen over such a long time ago.

That was the end of that dream. It was a sickening sensation, and a real disappointment. We had spent so much time, way too much time, daydreaming about what could never be. We took it hard.

Reinvent Yourself

2011-08-08T17:19:00.000-07:00

I've been looking back on this blog and revisiting posts and comments and I'm a little embarrassed about the style of it and the writing. Mostly I'm amazed at the responses that I got from so many people. I can't believe how long I actually kept this up.

Since moving and working on the new house, I told Nick that we really need to document this house and it's progress. And not just the house and it's remodels, but the garden and it's evolution as well. We kicked around the idea of creating a new blog, but when I searched for viable names to use, it became apparent that it would be so much easier to come back to this one. The name is still relevant, and truth be told, we kind of feel like Lucy is a lesbian dog, and prefers the idea that she's one of the boys. We are not trying to label her, we never use that term in front of her, and we are very accepting of whatever decision she makes. We promise to love her no matter what.

Some of my old blogging friends are my friends on Facebook. That's been the primary place where we post changes to the house, but there isn't really a format to discuss what we've done, what we went through and how we got to where we are. We are going to attempt to do that here. It's something that we can do together and a way to share our ideas and maybe even get a few from 'you' as well. This is assuming that anyone will find this or read it, let alone leave a comment.

Marigold

2011-08-08T12:43:00.001-07:00

Pooper Friday!

2008-11-21T07:08:00.000-08:00

I never tire of looking at her. She is just such a lovely dog.

Cowards

2008-11-11T06:47:00.000-08:00

I had resolved to let this go and not allow it to affect me. No matter how I try it won't leave me and I feel it nagging me in the back of my sub cordial lobe ( thank you E.R.). This last Halloween we eagerly awaited tricksters and treaters on our living room couch, each of us poised to reach for the candy bowl and the door before they had a chance to knock and jump start Lucy and Harlow with their insane barking. The night before we carved out a couple of pumpkins and they were cool folks. Nick's was a Pirate Fish and it turned out awesome.

We never get more than 20 kids each year and we've been here for 5yrs. We are sure that the neighbors are dependent on our goods at this point. To be honest, we seem to buy enough candy for 100 kids and end up giving out handfuls of candy just to get rid of it. Let's face it, that alone should set us up each year as one house not to miss. Am I right? It's not the crappy stuff either. I only buy what I would eat, and I don't eat crappy candy. Ever. Snickers. Reese's. You get the idea.

The night gets started and we are watching out the window for any signs of activity. The dogs are penned up in the hallway where they can't see out the windows. Pretty soon the kids start coming in small little waves. 3 here, 2 there. Around 8pm there is a group of kids of 4 or 5 and I'm dolling out the goods by the hand full, kids are going "Wow!" and we are just standing there loving every minute of it. I hit each bag as it's presented and the final kid in the back just looks up at me and Nick without a mask on and apologizes, "I'm sorry, I can't take candy from homo's" and scurry's off. I know what you're thinking. I've thought it too. I looked up and out into the dark driveway to see if I can see any parents, but the light shadows everything above the knee. I tell myself that can't possibly be what I heard. I tell Nick and he's all "are you sure?" I'm sure. I was looking right at the kid.

I got mad. I turned off the light and shut it down. Maybe I was scared too. It upset me for the fact that a child of not more than 8 or 9 could say something like that. That's when I really got mad, because I knew that a parent had put them up to it. If that's not abuse, I don't know what to call it. Manipulation? Mean spirited? Cowardice?

I'm not naive. I know that there are people out there that still have issues with sexuality. We don't pretend to be anything other than a couple that lives in a house with 2 cars, 2 dogs and a mortgage. We are very open and up front about who we are and always have been. There has never been a moment in the last 5 year that I ever felt that there was any animosity or distaste from our neighbors. My only requirement is that you treat us respectfully. You don't have to approve, you don't have to like it, but live and let live. We are not doing anything that you're not.

We are fortunate to have neighbors that are friendly and willing to chat and comment on the MANY projects that we are constantly implementing here at casa de homo's. I know that this instance was only one. I'm saddened that a parent could put their child up to that kind of cowardice on their behalf. You have a choice not to come to our house. Use it. But next year, when you go walking by and you think about not taking candy from the gays, your kid is so going to hate life, because we are going to do Halloween so over the top with decorations and give away 3 lb bags of candy. Every kid in the neighborhood will talk about it for years to come. Neener! Neener! Neener!

Pooper Friday!

2008-11-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we finally finished the replacement of our oil furnace with natural gas. This is the first morning with the furnace and I have to say, I love it. So quiet, so clean. Not to mention, waaaaaay more efficient. The oil furnace was from 1968. I was born in 1968. Crazy. I will admit however, that when the heat was on, it was on. I loved that when I got up in the morning that the toilet was preheated for my bum. Or how my towel was warm and dry after my shower. Sigh.

Time to Vote...If you haven't already.

2008-11-04T06:47:00.000-08:00

I spent part of the day at the arboretum photographing fall color. Sundays little outing inspired this idea with the shoes and leaves. I really like the way it turned out.

I'm so glad that today has finally arrived and yet I'm still anxious and scared of the outcomes. I won't be able to ignore it all today. Thank god for iPhone. Precious lovely iPhone.

Okay...I'll be around. OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! YES WE CAN!

2008-11-02T14:28:00.000-08:00

Spent the morning with Nick today. We went to 14 Carrot Cafe on East Lake for breakfast. It's the local of our very first date ever.

It's been a very weather active day, but I think it made it feel all the more authentically autumnal. A couple more weeks and it won't feel so nice out.

Pooper Friday Lives Again

2008-10-31T06:24:00.000-07:00

Blog No More

2006-10-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

I've come to the conclusion that blogging is not in me any longer. Perhaps again some day down the road, but truthfully, now it seems to tug at me like an ill mannered, rambunctious puppy and less as a passion for me. I simply don't have the time nor the inclination it takes.

I would like to say a few words however, to those of you who have given me so much over the past two years. I know that it is hard to be distant, never to have met, and still imagine or think of someone as a friend, but this is certainly the case for me. I count all of you as friend. I don't know what it would of been like if it weren't for you and the support, the encouragement, even the love. It's certainly been a difficult year for me personally, but nothing compared to many of you. For all of you, I wish only the best. Please feel free to keep in contact via email. My box is always open. In addition, I will still be on Flickr, posting, commenting even visiting from time to time. If you ever wanna see what's happening, you can most certainly see over there.

It is something that I fear, losing touch with some of you. There is always that. I hope you will come to Flickr from time to time to check in. I guess that's all there is to it then. Thank you. Thank you for everything.

Pooper Friday!!! Remembering

2006-08-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

Okay seriously people, it's freakin' unbelievable to me that she could have ever been this small.

Lucy is now approaching 8 months old and weighs in at a solid 60 lbs. She's a total bull in a china closet and she just doesn't get that she's so big. She tries to curl up in your lap on the couch and it's just not happening.

Harlow is totally amused by the fact that Lucy has been limited to where she can be as a result of her size. I was thinking about this the other day and wondered, if Harlow could laugh, what would it sound like? Well, I some how imagined a Marge Simpson laugh coming out of her and it totally fits.

We've been dealing with moisture ants in our bedrooom wall here at the casa de homo's. As a result, we have had to remove drywall from two walls and will be replacing a window. In addition to that, we have to remove the bathroom window too. We've been sleeping in the dining room for a week now and showering in the basement shower. I refer to that bathroom as the prison bathroom. I keep dropping the soap, but nothing EVER happens. (thought I would beat you to that one)

I'm on my way to my 20 year reunion tomorrow. It was supposed to be a nice long 4 day weekend away from homo and poopers, alas, not so. Nick will be staying home with the gurls and helping a friend install new windows while I party it up with the class of '86.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Original Pooper Friday!!!

2006-08-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

I did a dirty thing this morning, I snuck out of the house this morning with Lucy and went for a nice long walk. I've never done this before and it's not something I would normally do. However, Lucy has been cooped up for too long and last night I decided that Operation Pooper Trooper would commence at 0700hrs. Most mornings Harlow gets up with Lucy and I around 6:30 or so, but she always asks to be let back into the bedroom with Nick. It's a Princess thing I guess. So I used this knowledge to my advantage and Lucy and I went for a nice long walk. I forgot one important detail, a note saying where we were. I got a voicemail while walking worried that Lucy had gotten out of the yard and I was searching for her.

OOPS!!!

He should know that if that happened his sleepy princess ass would be rousted out and we would both be looking for her. Duh!

Anywho, that's why this is Original Pooper Friday, for trickery and deception and to remind my #1 girl that she's always first. These shots are from the other night when I took said #1 girl to the field...without Lucy (I'm just sayin').

Happy Friday Everyone!!!

Greenie Happenings

2006-07-31T21:11:00.000-07:00

Today I made Banana Nut bread for the very first time. It's funny, I never thought about it much, but it's so easy to make, I guess I just never bothered before. I know that all those over ripe banana's are going into freezer bags from now on. No more compost for them.

Tonight's dinner was composed of mostly home grown veggies and that in and of itself was very gratifying. I sauted onions and zucchini with Kosher salt and black pepper, finished off with a fat dose of parmagiano-reggiano. Yummy! Especially those carmallized onions....soo sweet and flavorful.

I think that I have fully enjoyed my new raised beds now...even though I have yet to eat my first tomato (picked them today). I'm savoring that moment for another day or so, letting it finish off on the counter. I dug another hill of red potatoes this afternoon. Only 3 left. All and all, it's been pretty bountiful and worth all that labor to haul in those yards and yards of soil. I still have pole beans and cucumbers coming (soon). Other than that, it's all on the tomatoes to get started and they usually do here around the end of August and the first of September. I hope we can manage to get more warmth between now and then.

One of my goals in the garden here from the time we moved in, was to entice Hummingbirds to the yard. Growing up, my grandmothers garden was always filled with the sharp chirp of male hummers dive bombing rivals. Hummingbirds really add a sense of wonder and magic to my garden and for the last two summers I've managed to have one lone female as a visitor. Well, this summer I got my wish, I had 3 of them outside my office window on the clothes line battling it out. I feel like I've achieved something huge. I know to some of you it may seem odd, but trust me, it's like a kind of acceptance, that my garden is worthy. When I see them, I can feel my heart slow, my mind relax...they make you stop moving so that you can just take them in for their brief moments of hover and dash. Right now, their favorite plants are the Monarda (Bee Balm), Phygelius (Cape Fuchsia) Crocosmia, Abutilon (Dennis, Jackie O's Lipstick, Red Gumdrop), Agapanthus (Storm Cloud) and the Clarodenderon tree. It's also fun to watch them bathe in the fountain, dip, dip, dip.

Also today, Lucy got her stitches out. She's got a bit of irritation where the some of the stitches were, but other than that, she's healing up well. Vet wants to keep the cone on for a few more days, keep her from licking. She's still going to be on restricted activity for another 10 days or so, she's still healing on the inside too. I'm just glad to have the worst behind us.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. Greenie out!

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-07-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a whole week since Lucy got her Hoo-hoo Haa-haa'd. I have to say that we have gotten our share of amusement out of this, as well as frustration. As you can clearly see, Lucy does not appreciate the comic genius of the cone, in fact, it is the quickest way to subdue her. Every time you put it on her head just sort of goes limp and the cone and her face are on the floor. You have to physically remind her that her head is not being pulled down my some mysterious force by gently lifting her face to you. That usually does the trick, at which point the hillarity insues, like getting stuck in the hallway or on the dining room table. Too, too, funny. On the down side, the edges of that plastic cone really hurts like a bitch when she rams the backsides of your bare legs with it.

All and all, she has been a great sport about everything. She's healing and feeling better all the time, so much so that we are sedating her with drugs. She gets a little carried away and wants to do the Daytona (whatever number) in the backyard with Harlow. That's still going to be another week before that's legal. Drugs do add another facet of humor though, as Drunk Lucy is pretty darn hilarious too, especially when she's trying to focus on you or something. You can totally see her trying to get there as if she's chanting "don't move, stop moving, stand still" to what ever it is she's trying to focus on.

You may notice that when you click on the photo's now that you are directed to my Flickr site. Apparently I'm in violation of my user agreement by not using this method. It says so on the site where I snag the code. Oops! You can still see larger sizes of the shots on Flickr, just click on the "All Sizes" option at the top of each photo.

Have a great weekend everyone, I'm going to enjoy the cool down that moved in over night. I love the heat, but too much too fast is just too hard to take.

In Memory of....

2006-07-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

The thousands of unwanted dogs and cats who are sadly cast off like garbage. In honor of the many people who DO something everyday to make the lives of those who find a home so much better. In honor of the many people who find themselves putting an end to those lives daily, I would not want to be in your shoes.

If you click on the image below, a video will be opened, a slide show of sorts that will be both touching and graphically heartbreaking. I encourage you to look at it...it is something we all must do. We go about our lives pretending that things are as they should be, when there is so much more wrong happening than is necessary. There are hundereds of other causes that could be highlighted in this same way, but today, in honor of my pets and in honor of the thousands of others who will never know the kind and gentle touch of a friend, I choose to do this in lieu of Pooper Friday.

I watched this and wept, and then I held both of my girls and let my tears run onto them and let them know how much they are loved and appreciated. Every day they give me so much joy and love.

Spaying or Neutering your pets is a responsibility that we have as stewards. This is not a privilage and carelessness in this regard should not be tolerated. Help end the cycle of death, have your pets spayed or neutered.

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-07-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Click on image to see larger size.

Do you think she's over the whole picture taking thing?

Happy Friday Everyone!!! Have a great weekend.

Fresh!!!

2006-07-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

Click on images to see larger sizes.

Our first haul of the summer from the new vegie patch. Yukon Gold and Red Pontiac potatoes, yellow onions, and zucchini all roasted in the oven with garlic and olive oil. It was Deeeeeeelicious!!!!

The Fountain...Exactly a Year to the Date.

2006-07-12T06:46:00.000-07:00

Click on images to see larger sizes.

It's in!!! The fountain is FINALLY in it's place. Do you remember the story of the Buddha Fountain? No? Well, let me recap it for you. July 10th is Nick's birthday and for his birthday last year I bought him this Buddha fountain, something that he has/had admired for sometime and had said on numerous occaisions that he wanted it.

You have no idea how hard it is to find a gift for this man. One that he will get totally excited about, to the point that his voice goes up an octave and his hands do the clappy clap thing and then cover his mouth. It's that hard people, because usually he just goes out and buys things like that for himself. This I understand, because my economic standing in our house is substantially less than his and I unfortunately lack the buying power that he does. I get it. But last year I was employed at the Wireless company making nominally more money than I do now, plus, I was working weekends at the nursery too. Well, June is the month of the big sale and I saw my opportunity and took it. I bought the fountain and arranged for it to be delivered on his birthday so that it would be there when he got home.

Here's where I fell short...the place that the fountain was to be set up was no where near ready for it to be put there. The place was picked out, ideas were in the works, but the preperation had not begun. Little did I realize that that part was going to take this long. All the same, he was giddy and excited when he relized that the odd looking rectangular pieces of cement in our drive way was in fact the Buddha fountain.

A year later, to the day, I arranged for two of the boys from the nursery to come over and help me move it into place. I made sure that I had a pump and tubing, all things needed to make it work. We finished before Nick got home. Even though he knew what was going on, it was still nice to have it running and in place with out him seeing it happen.

Lesson learned: How to really milk the giving capacity of one gift and still get the reaction you were looking for. (Okay, so maybe the reaction was a little more restrained this time, BUT, there were two very cute straight boys standing there with us.)

You can see recent photos on Flickr

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-07-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

Progress has been made around the back patio this last weekend. Preparations to FINALLY move the Buddha Fountain into place are almost complete and should commence on the 10th of July, making it one year to the date that it arrived in the front driveway. As you can see, bamboo was planted in a permanent spot with barrier installed around it to try and control its eventual attempts at world domination in our back yard. That black vinyl will be trimmed once the soil has settled more.

In other news, my masculinity has been recently affirmed by my purchase of the iconic grill. It dominates the space, not unlike the 62" Projection TV does our living room. The old grill sits now at the back of the yard, cast away and unwanted. Poor thing...oh well. Hello shiny 4 burner goodness. I love you, yes I do. My big, strong, black and stainless steel fire breather.

I suppose you've had enough of me, so here's your Pooper Friday. Have a great weekend everyone!

Click on image to see larger size.

You can see recent photos on Flickr

Slut Red Raspberries

2006-07-06T07:32:00.000-07:00

Click on image to see larger size.

Growing up, my grandparents always had an abundant supply, if highly gaurded one of fresh Raspberries. At anytime during the early summer I could walk out to the fenceline and crawl under those seemingly giant canes and underneath would be this mother load of red lucious fruit. My patch that is now 2 years old is nothing of what they had back then, but this year has been bountiful for the two of us (as witnessed above). So far, I've picked this many twice and there are still more coming. It almost makes me giddy.

Pooper Friday!!! Luce-zilla Strikes Again!!!

2006-06-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

Click on image to see larger size.

You can see recent photos on Flickr.

Lucy has become so large as to dwarf poor Harlow. I've taken to calling her Luce-zilla due to the bull in a china closet approach to our home and it's inhabitants...Reckless abandon has never held so much meaning before.

Aside from the constant terror, all things are still holding together. The only real casualties so far are the chair in the living room, which was already starting to come apart anyway; the back lawn which has numerous holes, and the Japanese maple tree, which can't really be considered a casualty...yet.

Many thanks for the encouragement, the love and the support. It means so, so, so, much. I agree with Suzie, it is cyclical, not a chain. I think my point there was that when you combine physical and emotional pain, you can start to lose sight of things, that it permeates everything and that they compound with time and events. The things that I'm dealing with are the same issues over and over, but yes, they are different levels of dealing. I'm learning, evolving and growing...ya, whatever, this shit sucks.

Never the less...It is a considerable comfort to come here and find your messages. My days are filled with work, watering and dogs. I get up around 6am and let the dogs out, feed them and begin watering, only to have to leave by 8:15 am for work. I get home around 7:30pm and make dinner, eat, water, beat the dogs into submission and crash into bed by 10pm. It's a viscous cycle to be sure.

I get to have an extra day off this week, Fourth of July holiday. What a treat! Hope you all have a safe and fun holiday weekend and Fourth of July.

Recovery Plus Pooper Friday

2006-06-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

Two days past my massage therapy session and I'm now feeling a bit beat up physically. It's that feeling you have when you haven't been to the gym in a while and decide to drop by for a good work out. Felt great to do it, but then pay for it later. I made sure and did some stretching yesterday, and will do so again today.

Emotionally, I feel fine. I feel like a bit of pressure has been released.

I need to say thank you to those who got in touch with me here and elsewhere after the last post. Like I said, I'm staying my hand on pulling the plug, because I feel like that would set me back even further. One more form of cutting myself off and isolation. I'm going back to the therapist a week from Monday to continue what I've started. I know that this is key to my healing.

That's the crazy thing about physical and emotional pain, it really is a chain reaction. One event feeds into another and so on and so forth. Left unattended, it bleeds into so many facets of your day to day life, that eventually you don't know how to distinguish what's normal and what's pain related. You stop seeing the good in others and can focus only on their negative aspects. Add another person in a lot of physical and emotional pain to that, and you get a bit of a negative vortex swirling around.

Now for your Pooper Friday, cause I know that's why you're really here.

Click on image to see larger size.

You can see recent photos on Flickr.

Greenie Update!!!

2006-06-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

This past week I decided that it's time to pull the plug on "Life with Harlow and the Boys". I realized that it has lived out it's usefulness and that it was time for me to finally let go of it.

Yesterday, I went to a massage therapist and came to some conclusions about myself. I'm not doing as well as I thought I was. I laid there on the table and the entire time, tears ran from my eyes non-stop. Not tears of pain really, at least not from the deep tissue work she was doing, but from the emotions that are so tightly connected to my tightly strung muscles.

I always suspected the correlation of these two things, there was just to much evidence of it in my life, but like so many other things, it was just one more neglect of self on my part. I spend an inordinate amount of time keeping up the facade that it's okay, that I never make room for me to let it out. I've not had a place to do that here. At least, not until now.

At the end of the session, we talked more about what to do next and how to work on me at home. I ended up sobbing, my body shaking, and surprisingly, this kind woman's arms around me and telling me to let it out. I found a sanctuary where I can go and feel safe, safe to let my vulnerability out, if only in measured amounts.

I thought that I was past it all. I thought that I had put a nail in that coffin. Honestly, all I have done is throw myself into my work, so much so that I have no time to think or feel about anything, not to mention what is going on elsewhere. A true survival instinct.

As part of that survival instinct, I have distanced myself from others, retreated. I bemoan my isolation here, and yet I have managed to leverage it to it's fullest potential, to keep myself insulated from questions, concerns and possible loss of emotional control.

All that said, I guess down deep inside, I'm afraid of pulling the plug here. I've retreated from so many of my online buddies, and at the same time I miss them terribly. I bounced around yesterday and realized that I'm missing out on so much. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I'm staying my executioners hand for now. I'll be returning for more therapy, so let's see where I end up.

With Love,
Greenie

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-06-02T06:18:00.000-07:00

Click on image to see larger size.

You can see recent photos on Flickr.

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-05-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

Click on image to see larger size.

Nick took Harlow to the office with him this morning. Lucy is beside herself now with total disbelief and horror. I went out into the living room to see what she was doing. She was sitting on the couch looking out the window for them to come back. How sad. So I took the opportunity to work on the basic commands. I think 'Sit' is almost there. She's super smart, but man is she dingy. LOL!

Lucy is now 4 months old and weighs a whopping 40+lbs. She is still sweet and cute and funny and irritating and annoying and rude. We love her and so does Harlow (thank God). You can see recent photos on Flickr.

Happy Friday

Long Drives, Log Jams and Love

2006-05-24T06:37:00.000-07:00

Hey gang, sorry for the long drawn out infrequent post action here. I won't bore you with how much work I'm doing or how tired I am or have been, because that seems like a complaint and it's really not. I love hard work and I love that I'm so tired and exhausted at the end of the day, because I love my job, not because I hate my job.

I recently made a quick dash to the homestead to visit the Mom and Pops for Mother's Day. I told myself that I would pay tribute to my Mom here when I got back and already a whole week has passed with out me doing so. It's pretty safe to say that it's not going to happen anytime soon either. Sorry Mom.

It's very comforting to have parents like mine. At the same time, it can be very difficult to have them know me like they do. I could tell that they are worried and want to 'know' that things are okay with me and a part of me wants to talk openly about my situation and what is going on in my head. But a part of me is reluctant to open up and let them into that inner sanctum that has become me. I've never been a really open child with them, at least I don't think so.

Because the drive to their house is long and the drive home seems even more so, I have an inordinate amount of time for thinking. This is not necessarily a good thing, quite often I can get myself wrapped up so tight and feeling so unsure that it's debilitating. This is not the case this time. The last time that I made a trip down however, I did come home with a heavy sense of dread and uncertainty about myself and my choices and really had to work through a lot of feelings. It was the start of a long depressive event, one that I feel relatively good about saying, has passed. This was not a trip to my parents, but a trip to Portland and a visit with friends. Good friends, friends that know me too, and can ask me the tough questions.

I am a very...blessed, fortunate, lucky...pick your descriptor here...to have such amazing people in my life. I have parents who love me for who I am no matter what. I have friends that love me unconditionally as well, and are always there to shore me up when I doubt myself the most. The fact that I am 3+ hours away from all of them is hard, harder than they know. The other fact is, my life is here now and I need to build on that now. I need to stop beating myself up with homesickness and feeling left out and thinking that I am missing out. I have a life here too and that has become an important understanding within me recently. I have neglected that idea so much of late that I was beginning to think that there wasn't one here at all.

My mind has been so clouded with doubt lately that I had ceased being able to think at all. I was walking along the Little White Salmon river with my parents when I saw this area of fallen trees, and it occurred to me that this is my mind, a log jam and that short of an emotional flood, they aren't going anywhere soon. But that like the stream, I had a choice to make now, I needed to decide whether to let them hinder me or find my through, under and around them, and accept them for who they are, parts of the whole.

I do want my parents to know how much they mean to me, how much I love them and appreciate who they are. I know that it's not easy to be so far apart and not be able to 'do' something, but they do so much when I'm there each time they just hug me and hold me like it's going to be forever before it happens again. Nothing heals me or gives me more comfort than my Dad's hugs. It means a lot to me to be able to sit and just 'be' with my Mom. No complications, no troubles, just calm and closeness. Sometimes you just need to be able to bask yourself in that love. I feel it Momma, I really do and it heals me in such important ways. No words can translate what your loving touch communicates.

I want my good friends Skanky and Mae Mae to know too, what their friendship means to me. It's been hard to be apart from them. But it's so comforting to know that no matter the distance, nothing can change what we have together. I don't know what cosmic alignment came together to bring them into my life, but I am a better person for it. I love you so much. I love that sweet bundle of goodness Shoo-shoo too. She melted me down to pure goo and I am forever grateful. Babies are good medicine people. They seem to pull your whole perspective down and fine tune your entire existence.

I'm out of time here, must get ready for work. Until next time...

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-05-19T07:48:00.000-07:00

Hi, remember me? Ya, I used to be a Blogger that blogged ALL THE TIME. Honestly, I'm just too tired lately to sit down and write anything lately. I talk all day long to people and the last thing I want to do is sit down and type, because I'm also physically exhausted. I am finding time to enjoy myself, it's not all work. You can see recent photos on Flickr. I finally got to meet Skanky's Baby. It was love at first sight.

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-05-05T07:04:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday Gang!

I'm just completely wiped out after work lately. Busy season has arrived and we are still short handed at the nursery. Lucky for me, they've asked me to work longer hours for the next couple weeks or longer. The Overtime is MUCH APPRECIATED right now. It's been nice weather lately and my tan has returned. So have the freckles.

This picture of the girls is really sweet. I love this moment. They were out on the back porch the other morning and so cute. Lucy is now 19 weeks old and well over 25lbs now. She's getting a bit more devilish lately, living up to the Lucy Fur reference I'm afraid. I came home last night and Nick informed me she found my eye glasses on the night stand. They are now scratched. GREAT!!! Oh well...How can I fight this? (SEE BELOW) Other photos from that morning can be seen on Flickr.

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-04-28T07:31:00.000-07:00

This picture of Lucy is now the 'Most Viewed' picture on Flickr. That fact alone is amazing to me, but the fact that it took less than a week for it to occur is also startling. Know what else? It's also the most commented AND!?!?! MOST FAVORITED!!! Do you know how hard it is to live with her on a regular level? Try living with her now. If I hear "I'm the next Kelly Clarkson" one more time...AGGGGHHHHH!!!!

I have to say though, that nothing puts a smile on my face quicker than when I pull in the driveway at night and look up to see Harlow looking for me, only now, I have two poopers staring down at me. Double my pleasure.

In my last post I mentioned some pet friendly garden products that I use and Metro asked what kind of lawn fertilizer I use. As a dog owners it's important that 1) we have grass and 2) that what we put on the grass to keep it growing doesn't burn pads or cause adverse effects. I know of two products that we sell out here that I would recommend and use. Whitney Farms Lawn Food and Dr. Earth Lawn Food. Both of these products work really well and are completely safe for pets. Tests show as well, that an organically fed lawn is often times much more drought tolerant and much more active in the soil, the key ingredient for any healthy vibrant lawn. Every year customers come in trying to achieve the perfect lawn with chemicals, re-seeding, spraying, feeding and even complete renovation. Lawns become a lot of work. Lawns can be expensive to maintain.

Some things that I've learned about having a thriving lawn in the Northwest.

1. The obvious, full sun. Not something that a lot of us have here, but the more the better.

2. Soil. This is your foundation, the most important part. You really need a good 6 inches or more of well amended soil, and by amended I mean a healthy dose of compost and organic matter incorporated into the soil. If I were putting in a new lawn, I would bring in about 4 inches of compost and till that into my existing soil. If you are aerating your lawn, bring in some organic compost to spread over and fill those holes.

3. Fertilizer. I live in a wet climate where there are lots of streams and wetlands. Salmon (surprisingly) still make spawning runs up several of them. One of the biggest problems in areas like this is run off from subdivisions and yards. Fertilizers high in phosphates contribute to a large host of problems in waterways. Most chemical based fertilizers are high in Nitrogen, phosphorous and Potash ( the three numbers 0-0-0 on the bags of fertilizer). The represent the percentage of active ingredient found in the product. I'm not going to play science guy right now and go further into this. I'm going to break it down like this...

A lot of chemical based fertilizers hit your lawn hard and fast for quick results. Organic fertilizers are slow release and offer your lawn a steady and methodic feeding . Basically, feeding your lawn a chemical based food is like hooking it on crack, once it starts down that slippery slope, it has to have it again and again to continue. Or, like giving your kid sugar and having them go spinning around the room and then fall flat afterwards, crying for more. Much like my caffeine addiction.

4. Water. Starting out with a new lawn means frequent watering until it's established, but a well amended lawn with deep roots can handle being watered deeply less often. Frequent watering with a sprinkler system that runs 10-15 minutes every morning means your lawn has shallow roots to best take advantage of the available mother. A well amended soil has lots of organic matter that holds onto water deep down as well as nutrients and microbiotic activity. Grass will send it's roots down into this deeper layer for that and be able to sustain itself longer.

5. Mowing. Mowing your lawn too short allows for a host of problems. Weed propagation, soil erosion and drying. Cutting your grass taller shades out weed development and holds onto moisture better.

Well, that's about all I have time for now. These are just some general tips. Your individual climates and conditions can dictate different approaches. One thing is for sure, everyone can take advantage of and benefit from Organic Lawn foods.

Progress

2006-04-26T06:27:00.000-07:00

Work on the raised beds continues, but thought I would try and post something about them this morning. Since these photo's I have planted onions, garlic, potatoes, lettuce, flat leaf parsley and what I thought was broccoli, but turns out is Romanesco, that funky, spirally, greenish white thing that is like broccoli. I guess we'll give that a whirl.

These are a few of the products that I use in my garden that are organic and pet friendly. I grew up around a lot of pesticides and herbicides, so for me it's really important to find alternatives to these, especially with my girls. I once had a nightmare experience with previous dogs and slug/snail bait. I had taken a lot of precautions to avoid their contact by using traps and restricting their access to certain areas. When I cleaned up the garden and had thrown out the traps, part of the dried and dead slugs and bait fell on the floor of the garage. I didn't realize it at the time, but my dogs came out in the garage with me later on and before I knew what was happening, had found the dried cake and had taken it in the house and started eating it. It was one of the worst experiences ever. I went to the gym and came home to my little dogs who were acting extremely wierd. Hundreds of dollars later, they were okay in the end, but they were pretty sick little puppies. Worry Free slug baits are great and they work.

I'm off to an employee product seminar to learn about a new organic product that's out on the market. Things at the nursery are hopping and the phones are driving me crazy. I'll have to post about customer experiences and some of the whacko people and there questions.

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-04-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

Finished reading "Tuesdays with Morrie". Sobbed. Feeling better.

Watched "Brokeback Mountain". Loved it. Still processing it. Heartaching. Feel very fortunate. Heath Ledger was freakin' amazing. Michelle Williams floored me too. A great film.

I need you to go and rent "The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio". You MUST see this film. I can't emphasize it more than THIS here, but you NEED to see this film. IT'S WONDERFUL!!! That's all I'll say, because I want you to find out for yourselves, but trust me, it's a GREAT story. TRULY.

Getting a much needed haircut this morning. I love getting my haircut. I expect it will do wonders for my disposition too.

Nothing can replace the support that I get here from YOU. You've never even met me and you can extend yourselves to me like you do. Thank you for the comments and the emails.

I LOVE YOU SKANKY!!!

The Secret

2006-04-10T09:10:00.000-07:00

Remember how I said that this weekend I was going to be planting in the new veggie beds? Ya well, this is what became of me on Sunday (see photo above). So maybe not the entire day, but this sums up my Sunday. By most standards this really isn't too bad a deal, and to be honest Sunday is really my Saturday and Monday is my Sunday. So technically, I've just swapped my Sunday behavior for my Saturday, thus leaving me to do yard work on my Sunday instead. Lost yet?

Moving on...

Last summer when we were in San Diego with our friends for a week, one of the friends, Adrian, bought me a book while I was picking up a journal. That book was "Tuesdays With Morrie" by Mitch Albom. He said it would change my life. I've had this book for sometime now, and it took me a while before I ever picked it up and actually read from it. But one day as I was headed into the bathroom for my daily constitutional I was franticly looking for reading material and it was just sitting there.

***Side Note: Reading material - Is this as common in your home as it was in mine while growing up? Nick always comments on this whenever I head for the toilet with the latest Cooking Light or some other new periodical that has arrived. In this household, it usually has something to do with cooking, decorating or gardening by the way. I do get National Geographic, one of my favorites. I just can't poop without something to read, that's the point here. I mean, I can, but it's so much easier with a mag. or a book. Is that weird?***End Side Note

The motivation that I received for finally reading this is not important, but it started me down a road of thoughtful consideration about life, my life. I'm not going to comment on the passages it contains here, that would take much too long, but it is full of golden nuggets of inspiration and touching commentary about life. I've mentioned this before I know. More to the point though, this book is less than two hundred pages long and I'm still not done. I don't want it to end I guess. I usually read a chapter at a time, they're short, while I'm on the stoop and now I'm re-reading some of them. It's been several months and now I'm at the end, only a couple of unread chapters to go. I know how it ends but I'm not ready.

Lately I've been struggling personally. I've had a hard time finding happiness in anything I do. When your closest friend tells you that you've lost your spark and that she's worried about you and when someone who is just starting to know you asks if you have always been this sad, you know that you've gone to a level that you need to figure out what the hell is going on. I'm not looking to reveal a big breakthrough here for anyone. That's not the direction I'm headed in, but I know that I've been absent from my blog here, and from activity in my real life as well. I would say it's a safe bet that I'm depressed, Duh right? This isn't the first time for me, but this is hard for me to openly admit here because it's not just fellow bloggers who read this, it's family and friends too.

I've been in this place before and I've found a way out, I'll do it again. It's just that right now I've got a pressure valve inside of me that's creaking and groaning, and no matter how I try, I can't seem to find the strength yet to turn the knob. Every now and then, little bits of steam manage to get out of the seams and cracks that are forming, but for now the mechanism is holding. I see myself standing in there, pacing around the dial that shows the needle dangerously hovering in the red area of the dial, a sure indicator that things are precariously close to falling apart. I don't want that to happen, and yet, I know that I need to find a way to release this pressure inside.

I used to be able to cry, and I mean hard core sob sessions. I get teary eyed sometimes when I'm watching something or when I read, but I never get to that point of total release. I really believe that this is what's needed at this stage, I just can't seem to get there.

I'm going to stop here and end with a quote that's really sticking with me today.

"In the beginning of life, when we are infants, we need others to survive, right? And at the end of life, when we you get like me (Morrie, who has ALS, Lou Gehrigs Disease), you need others to survive, right?" His voice dropped to a whisper. "But here's the secret: in between, we need others as well."

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-04-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

This photo is about a week and a half old. Lucy is so much bigger than this now, but because I'm a lousy father, I have not taken any recent photos. In fact, the D70 has been sitting in the office for days now with little or no use. I assure you that this is not any act of disinterest, it's just sheer evidence of my fatigue after a day at work. This spring, in my opinion, has been brutal. Hopefully it won't last too much longer. I know a lot of the pressure is self induced, but I can't help myself sometimes, I am a bit anal retentive about some things. Not being able to keep up with displays and cleaning drives me crazy sometimes. I hate it when the nursery looks so messy. I just need to learn to let go, but it's so hard.

On to other things....Lucy is growing, did I mention that? She's turning from that chubby, blocky puppy into that skinny, gangley puppy. She's still just about the cutest thing on four legs, and she's still a total sass. That hasn't changed. She's sporting a new red collar, as she has outgrown her cute pink one. We go in on Monday for the last series of shots, officially making her safe to go out into the field with Harlow. I can't wait to see her in action out in the open with Harlow. She's in for a real wake up if she thinks she can keep up with her. Harlow is half Greyhound, I swear.

This weekend I'm going to start planting in the raised beds. First things first, some Gardeners and Bloom Compost and Harvest Supreme. If you love to garden and you want a good soil amendment, I recommend both of these products to you. The compost is all natural and organic, loaded with nutrient rich material that will give any of your new and existing plants a great boost. Harvest Supreme is the same, but packing more nutrient richness and mycorihzae, living micro organisms that actually improve your soil and your plants ability to utilize nutrients. I'm also going to pick up some Dr. Earth Starter Fertilizer for my new plants. The one exception being for the potatoes, they actually won't want any of these ingredients, so one bed will be reserved just for them this year. Last year, I planted my tomatoes in half soil and half Gardeners and Blooom Harvest Supreme and my tomatoes were not only large plants with huge one inch diameter canes, but they were also loaded with fruits. We're talking buckets.

Okay, I can see by the clock that I had better get going. Have a great weekend.

Greenie Update!!!

2006-04-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I did just an all purpose update of the day to day and events around the casa. Not sure how thorough this will be, but here goes.

I was nominated for Sexiest Male Blogger to which I want to thank all those who voted, even if it wasn't for me. It's okay, really, I'll be fine. I mean, who am I kidding right? I'm just a tired old fish anyway. Bitter old turnip.

WHY CAN'T I WIN!?!?!?! (voting ends April 6th. the leader has over 175 votes.)

Cast Your Vote!!! Okay, that's done.

Hey, did I mention that we bought a truck??? WE DID!!!

Isn't it coooooool!?!? We love it, it's changed everything for us around the casa de homo's. Now we can haul off a lot of yard debris from the last year that has been accumilating at the back of the property. I did this yesterday. It also means that I can go and get soil, compost, trees and shrubs and even lumber. All of which I have done in the last week or so.

Did I mention that for my birthday that I got a Homo Depot gift certificate? I DID!!!

Aren't they coooooo!?!? I built them a week ago. This last weekend I hauled 3 yards of soil in and filled the three along the fence. Oh, see that pile at the back? Ya, that's gone now. Woooot!!! I'll be posting more pics of this as it progresses here. I'll be putting down landscape fabric and graveling the paths in between. I think it's going to look good when I get done. More than anything, I'm so excited to plant veggies and herbs this year.

I haven't done anything with the latest thing dealing with my Biological Mother. I'm trying to maserate in the feelings a little, get a better idea of what it is that I'm going to do at this point. I know that a letter or something to my grandmother is definitely in line, but that can be a bit difficult too. I don't want there to be any inbetween actions going on. The fact remains that things on that side of my family are not healthy for me. I distanced myself from all of them for a reason, not just because of my Mom.

I continue to feel the weighty and fatigued by life a lot lately. There are the good days that really are good. I find that physical exertion is a great release and throw myself into my job and projects around the house. I'm trying to get through this period of my life that feels so...weighty.

I'm going to be okay. I know I am, I just have to get through this.

On an EXTREMELY HAPPY NOTE!!!!

My best friend, you all know her as Skanky, had her baby. I got the call last Sunday morning. I've never wept over such happy and wonderful news before, but I did. Mostly out of joy, but also out of saddness at having not been there. I'm over that part now, and just thrilled to have Skanky and Bellabutton safe, healthy and just as beautiful as ever. I'm thrilled for the entire family, this is a moment that has been long in coming and one filled with immense joy and happiness, the likes this family has deserved for oh so long. I know it's the start of many more such moments. My heart, it swells for them. I'm just so lucky to have even one little ounce of that joy for my self.

I gotta skidattle. Time for work.

This has been your Greenie Update and this is all the news that's fit to print. For now. Greenie Out!!!

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-03-31T08:55:00.000-08:00

Sexiest Male Blogger!?!?

2006-03-31T08:32:00.000-08:00

It's true, I've been nominated for Sexiest Male Blogger, and in the spirit of competition, I'm going to shamelessly promote myself. I'm doing this not because I feel that I really am sexy, on the contrary, but because how fun would it be to win? What better affirmation for someone who just had a birthday, to win something this fun? (Not that I will)

Cast Your Vote!!!

it's my birthday

2006-03-23T07:59:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here looking out the window, thinking about the fact that it's my Birthday and that I did nothing to plan or arrange for it at all this year. It's a tradition for me to take this day off, spend the day on my own doing things that I like to do. I missed so much work last week with my back being out, I just couldn't justify missing any more.

Nick and I are going to dinner on Saturday though, a nice Italian restaurant that I really like. Looking forward to that. Other than that, I think this is about it for this year. I plan on talking to Dad and Mom later tonight as promised by them. I got a terrific card from them yesterday. The following is what was printed:

To Be a Man
The man of greatest strength is also one of gentleness.
The most accomplished man learns both from failure and success.
The man of strongest leadership knows how to follow, too-
And that asking help can sometimes be the best thing he can do...
The wisest man of all is one who takes a look within-
To embrace what he's becoming, and to learn from where he's been.
If a man attempts all this (and only someone special can),
Then he truly has the heart and soul it takes to be a man.

You're everything parents could ever hope for, so be proud of who you are
and of the way you live your life.

The following is what was written:
We will call you on your birthday. We want you to know we love you so very much.
Love Dad and Mom

My eyes...ya, they got a little moist (blink, blink, blink).

I got another card yesterday too. This one from my biological mom. Some of you know the scoop on that, and if you read my blog or have been for the last year, you know that things in that department are strained and non-communicative. We don't talk or exchange email, letters, cards or anything. I saw the card in the mail and I swear, I rolled my eyes and groaned. The following is what was printed:

May your days be blessed with happiness,
May you always have good friends to laugh with...
...and may you always know how much you're thought of and loved.

The following is what was written:
Your Grandma is failing fast. We do not think she will make it through the summer. I just thought you would want to know.
Your Mother by Birth

Sigh....

There are so many thoughts and feelings running through me right now. I've kind of hit a stopping point here. Someone said to let them know how it feels to be 38, and while I feel blessed (for lack of a better word), loved, grateful, fortunate, and strong, I am most certainly weary, conflicted, heavy, searching. What I don't feel is old. I'm at a completely different place in my life than I have ever been before, and grateful for my insight and understanding of my past. My present is filled with love and laughter, and I'm constantly searching for the keys to understanding and acceptance of where I'm at now. I think very little of the future, for I know that nothing is as important as right now.

The sun is shining, spring is starting and things are becoming fresh and new. It is my favorite time of year and when I feel the most energy. Please go out and enjoy the renewal today and smile at it's splendor. What an amazing event it is, with bloom, and color, so much energy pulsing through living things all around. Is is not incredible the wonders and sights that we have to enjoy from nature alone? Enjoy the moment and soak up the gift of spring.

Until next time...

Sending you Greenie love.

Lucy Fur

2006-03-21T09:47:00.000-08:00

We've taken to calling her Lucy Fur, because she is a bit of a demon gurl. We love her all the same and are going through all the growing pains of having a little one in the house. Lord how she is growing though. Her legs and body are getting longer and longer and I swear those ears are getting bigger too.

Yesterday she spent the entire day outside with Harlow and I, with a couple of timeouts in the crate. She puts everything in her mouth. She's a bit of a rock hound too. She ate pieces of gravel and I would constantly harp on her to knock it off. Well, towards the end of the day her tummy had about as much as it could take. She started puking and up came all the food and gravel. To my surprise this morning, I found a piece of brick in her poop. I'm not kidding, she was shitting brick pieces. No more unsupervised time in the yard for her. Maybe a muzzle?

Blogging has been on the back burner for me lately. I spent the better part of a week with my back out and then when I did try and blog on Friday, Blogger said I didn't have rights to access that server. Apparently my blog was on a server that went belly up. I'm not sure what's going to happen here. I'm a bit ambivelant at the moment when it comes to this site. I'll blog when I feel like it I guess. I've noticed some others have slowed down too. A lot is going on for me right now, but I can't blog about any of it here. I'm sorry. Maybe if it was an anonymous blog where I was not a son or partner or personal friend I could blog naked for a change. But not so much anymore. I fear I've lost my ability to do that here.

Rest assured, that no matter what is going on, I'm okay, really. I'm doing what needs to be done to take care of what ever is going on. This is not an SOS so please don't panic.

This week is my 38th birthday. CRAZY!!! I'll be sure to post that day, mmmkay? So check back later.

Sending out the Greenie Love to you all. I know there is a lot going on everywhere right now. I'm thinking of you.

The Mormons are Here

2006-03-14T13:43:00.000-08:00

Last week, or some time the week before, the Mormons found me...Again. We were sitting in the living room waiting for our pizza delivery, which was insanely late and I had started Prairie Dogging (referencing the second definition of the term here) on the couch to see who had just arrived only to be disappointed that it was someone turning the corner or going by. When a car arrived, I was coming out of the kitchen and started to announce that dinner had arrived, when I recognized the configuration of the driving unit and it's occupants.

I told Nick, "it's the church."

"How do you know?" he asks.

"Oh, I know, trust me, I know."

It's a common practice to send locally placed missionaries out with the congregation on what is known as splits. Missionaries spend the majority of their time together and this allows two things, time apart and an opportunity to cover more ground by going out with members. When the dome light came on, I could see the Elder's distinctive black and white ensemble in sharp contrast to the drivers more civilian attire. I could of been two houses over and told you that it was the Mormons, that's just how obvious they are, at least to me anyway. Remember, I used to be a missionary.

They seemed to be taking their time in the car, but they clearly saw me standing in the living room window looking down on them from my house. As they started to exit their car, I decided to meet them on the front porch. They came up and greeted me and acknowledged that they were from the local ward and were out looking up member records they had on file. I used to do this too, find local members that were not attending, see if they were interested in coming back or if they had any eligible children that could be baptized. You can chide me all you want, but one thing that is certain, a big part of the plan for missionaries every month is to meet your baptismal goal. It's pure and simple, numbers. That is not to discount their motivation, it's also pure and simple, for the most part. Join our church and live a happier fuller life together, forever.

Reading that makes me sound a bit jaded and bitter. I guess I am. I think that came across on my front porch that night too. I met them eye to eye and told them that I was not interested in the church anymore, nor was I interested in them sending people from the church to visit me from time to time. When asked why not, I told them that the church doesn't recognize my relationship. When asked what kind of relationship, I said a gay one. I'm gay and the church will not acknowledge me or my partner, so I won't be interested in having the church come around, to which they replied, "You can have your name removed from the records, it's much simpler", and they left.

Several things have been going through my mind since that night and feelings too. For one, I totally missed out on a great opportunity for them to come into my home and meet Nick and I. What better way for them to experience the evil nature of our lifestyle than to expose them to our home and it's normality. Instead, I was a bit bullish and cold. I don't know if it was because I was cold and hungry from my day at work or if it was that my dinner was 45 minutes late. I just know that I missed an opportunity for them to meet 'ME'.

As for the removal of my name option, that one stings a little. While I'm not the ideal member of the church anymore, I am technically still a member as long as my name is on the records. Even though it may appear that I am bitter and a bit angry at the church by my words above, there is still a part of me that loves it too and always will. It represents a significant part of my life and development, both good and bad. I went for several years mourning my faith and my departure. I guess I'm in the anger stage right now and hopefully the acceptance is not far away. I know it would be easy to notify them to remove my name, but I just can't bring myself to do it, even though I know they would just as soon hold church court on my ass and have me excommunicated. Doesn't that sound ten times more heinous than sending them a letter?

I think what keeps me from doing it more than anything, is my parents. I live my life never wanting to disappoint them or cause them pain. (I fear that I've done a considerable amount of both on occaision as it is.) I tell people to not appologize for who they are, I wish I could say that I lived my life the same way. I am proud of who I am today, but I often feel the route taken was a bit careless when it came to others. You can't go back, so I endeavor to go forward and not make the same mistakes. God, that sounds so noble doesn't it? Half the battle is knowing the problems, the rest is just practice until you get it right, even if it takes your whole life. Mind if I take baby steps?

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-03-10T08:22:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday Everyone!!!

Checking In

2006-03-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

I have been missing in action for days and days now. My will to blog has been sapped away by Lucy Fur (that's what we call her now). Okay, so maybe not entirely her fault. My nights are disrupted quite a bit at the moment and a good nights sleep is something of a myth at the moment. Added to that, the trucks at the nursery keep on coming and will continue to do so for the next few months. It's a lot of physical work that I love, I truly do, but it leaves me with little or no energy once I'm fed and watered at home. Nick is tired of me saying I'm tired, so I've started to say I'm sleepy.

There is literally nothing of note to report to you all. Life is a bit focused on Lucy at the moment. Things in the Puppy Department are progressing. She grows like a weed, I kid you not. She is already asking to go outside to potty (praise be) and that's before she's 8 weeks old people. She must be a Puppy Prodigy. Harlow and Lucy are getting on better and better with each day.

Sorry I've not been around to any blogs lately, I just haven't had the time or the energy. Things will settle down soon, right?

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-03-03T07:49:00.000-08:00

I promise, this isn't going to become a non-stop ad for LUCY!!! But let's face it, we're all a bit twitterpated over her right now and it's just taking a while for the new to wear off. As for that last post, well, Harlow has always been a bit over dramatic about things. I can assure you that we are all doing just fine with the little one in the house. Even Harlow.

We have to keep a close watch since Lucy is so small, but Harlow is getting better and better at being gentle and enticing Lucy to play with toys. Lucy however, is a bit of a sass and is always getting out of hand. Unfortunately, or not, the only one that understands when I say easy or enough is Harlow. As soon as she responds and walks away, that little stinker does a sneak attack. Her favorite thing to do of late is too get Harlow to chase her and then jump into the red bed above and be all like, "SAFE, neeneer, neeneer, neeneeer!!!" Ya right? Like that works.

Puppies are time consuming. You don't get anything accomplished when she is awake. When she's sleeping, I put her in her crate. If I'm lucky, I get about an hour to two hours to work on other things. Fortunately, right now the bursts of energy last about half an hour right now and then it's down for the count. Eat. Poop. Play. Sleep. Ah the life.

Lucy goes to work everyday with Nick and lives under his desk in her crate while she sleeps. So far, it's working, but I know that this is probably short lived. With any luck though, the routine will prove solid and she'll just go into work mode at some point. Eventually, she'll stay home during the day, but it's not feasible right now. I'm just glad that it's working right now, this routine that is. Harlow gets a nice break and we get some one on one time in the mornings to cuddle and play.

Having a puppy has done nothing but accentuate the obvious things about Harlow that I love. Her form, her personality, how good she is and what an overall great dog she has turned into. As you can see from the picture below, her shoulder is looking excellent. That's the area that was shaved before. It's growing back nicely. You can still make out the scar, but just barely. The upper one is still a bit puckered and I have a feeling that it's going to always be that way. If she would stand still long enough I would confirm it, but even as I type we are playing ball.

Okay gang, gotta get ready for work. It's gorgeous and blue here right now, but very chilly. I like it! Have a great weekend everyone. Sorry I don't get around to visit mucy online, but I appreciate the visits here always. Greenie Out!!!

Blue Eyed Devil

2006-02-28T21:16:00.000-08:00

It was a day like any other. I had spent it patrolling the beat. Criminal activity was at a minimal with the usual domestic disturbances on the Southside (Dining-room Window). The squirrels were at it again, fighting over the feeder and who was there first. A daily problem and I'm trying to get the establishment (feeder) shut down once and for all. It's becoming difficult to spread resources for policing efforts between there and the Westside (Living-Room Window) where squirrel activity is also on the rise. I keep trying to tell the Chief (Greenie) that we need more access to the West and South sides, but he still hasn't increased the perimeter. How he expects me to keep things under control is beyond me.

Perhaps it was the monotony of the day that had me idle and unsuspecting. Maybe I'm getting a little soft on the job. All I know is, what happened that night had the stench of insider work. There's no other way to describe it. How else could it happen, if not for the aid of a dirty cop?

So here I was, finishing up my shift on patrol, waiting for my relief to take over when the Chief comes in and tells me I have to stay and work a double. I should of known something was up right then, but I was thinking I might get a little something out of the double shift, like an extra day at the field this weekend. I hunkered down for what I thought would be a long night.

I wasn't more than a third of the way through the shift when the Chief and his partner(Nick) came back. I knew right away something was up, you could see it in the Chief's face. He tried to act like normal, but he rushed me outside too quickly. The jig was up, but never would I have imagined it was something so deceptive as what happened next.

The Chief dropped me off on the Eastside (backyard) and headed over to the Westside. I was out there for a while when his partner showed up to take me back to the precinct. I came in thinking there was some kind of surprise, like a party or something. I came around the corner into the central office (living room) expecting the Chief to be there, but he was nowhere to be seen. I headed for the back office (bedroom) and rushed up to the Chief ready for my surprise, and there she was.

She was as a soft velvet bundle of joy with eyes like violets, blinking with those soft lashes. I could see how they had become trapped under her spell. But my female instincts told me more. This was no ordinary bitch, this was Cuteness at it's worse. I tried to play it cool, pretend like it was nothing, but the little minx tried to be friendly and I wasn't having any of it. I left the room, pretended I had work to do. As soon as I tried to leave though, they encouraged me to stay. I was stuck. I saw through her veil of deceit, I knew this was a lethal dose of Cuteness on a scale the likes this house had never seen.

I tried to warn them, I growled at her, I even foamed at the mouth to get my point across. It didn't do any good. You'll notice it's been several days since the last post. The Cuteness took it's toll from the get go and wore them down over the course of the last 4 days. This morning I woke up to stillness. It's my worst fear come to fruition. The Cuteness proved to be too much for them. They soaked it up, drank it up like it was the elixir of youth. They stopped eating, sleeping and bathing. It's a sad and pathetic sight to see, and now I'm left here to share my story. Learn from my experience, my loss and my pain. The next time you get the urge to indulge yourself in that kind of Cuteness, remember this story and it's painful lesson.

The Big Surprise!!!!

2006-02-25T22:49:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, I'm proud to present to you, our newest member in El Casa de Homo's....(drum roll please)

LUCY!!!

I'll write more later, but you can see more of her on Flickr.com

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-02-24T08:03:00.000-08:00

I think this picture was the last day that the Pooper wore a fashionable t-shirt. She is now back to running in nothing but fur, and PETA was up in arms, that is until they realized that it was attached to a DOG. Overall, the Poop is in good shape. She needs to have the staples removed and that happens today or tomorrow, depending on when they can get her in. She is definitely feeling like herself though and is loving the daily ritual of going to work with her Poppa Nick. Unfortuately, when his boss gets back from vacation, things will go back to the old routine.

Mother Nature is throwing us all kinds of weather up here this winter. First, a Month of Rain, then Arctic Blast 2006 (with sunny blue skies though), and now horizontal rain/snow/sleet and back to sunny blue skies. I don't know what to think. Spring is coming, but it's like we live on the battle front of Winters final grip. Did I mention that I work in this weather? OUTSIDE!!! My cheeks are still windburned from the Arctic Blast 2006 event.

So, I'm dying to tell you all something HUGE!!! Well, huge for us. We are about to do something that's going to change things at Casa de Homo. But I don't want to tell you just yet, because it's not final. I don't want to jinx it, but I'm JUST DYING to tell you. You have NO idea. I'm still pinching myself, a reminder that I'm not dreaming, this is real.

Stay tuned folks, I'll be sure to let you know what happens, but I had to say something, it's just too hard to keep it in. I'm just soooo excited.

Happy Friday and have a great weekend. Maybe check back on Sunday night...I might know for sure then.

Just Real Quick

2006-02-21T06:49:00.000-08:00

I'm headed to a seminar on Herbicide and Pesticide use. FUN!!! I'm actually an organic gardener myself, but there are still people out there that like the chemical approach. Maybe I'll learn more about the reeally bad stuff so I can scare them away from it.

These photo's are from the back yard yesterday. I've been busy doing design work for a couple of clients this last weekend and met with both of them Sunday and Monday. I haven't had a lot of free time to post or comment much at all and there has been a lot going on in BlogLand of late, of which I'm not EVEN prepared to document here. Catch you all later!

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-02-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

Here's proof that she is doing better. She's been lucky enough to go to work with Nick these last two days. She's been a little weird since the incedent, which I kind of expected her to exhibit some anxiety and fear. That seems to be decreasing, but it's still untested at this point.

I'm just glad that she's doing better. She's going to the vet today for a check up and maybe, just maybe having that tube removed, although Nick says that the Vet is keen on keeping it in longer. That just means more dress up for her. Best go find more t-shirts.

You can go to Flickr.comto see additional pics from today.

We are freezing our patooties off up here at the moment. I grew up in colder conditions than this, but this is cold none the less. Yesterday I started coming down with a cold too. Now I'm really pretty this morning. No really, I got a hair cut last night, I'm pretty again. I even shaved off my goatee. But my eyes are puffy, my sore is throat and my right ear is tender. Can't wait to get outside and feel that artic blast on my face. Woohoo!!!

Okay, I gotta finish writing a gardening article. Have a great weekend everyone.

Pooper Update!!!

2006-02-15T07:02:00.000-08:00

This photo brought to you by: The Compaign for a Healthy Penis - Get Tested for Syphillis!

Yes, as you can see, she is doing much better. She sleeps constantly and is still the velcro dog, but until that tube is out, she has to wear a t-shirt and cone. I don't make her wear the cone unless she is unsupervised. Shhh! Don't tell my vet, she already makes me feel like I'm a bad parent for the regular stuff, imagine what she would do with dirt on me like this. Our vet is great though, just very clinical and a bit chilly. It's just that when I go over there with Harlow, it's always for something sick oriented, not a normal check up or shot thing. Nick is the one that usually ends up tending to the regularly scheduled maintenance, where as, I'm the critical care end. As a result, I end up with the critical and cold aspect of the Dr. and Nick is the one who gets all the praise for how beutiful and healthy she looks. I mean really, WTF??? lady. It's the same dog, same owners. Who do you think is the primary care taker of the dog to begin with? Don't misunderstand, Nick is a great Dad, but it's true, I'm the one that takes care of the dog and dog related duty around Casa de Homo. But everytime I leave the vets, I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. Seriously, I left there and called Nick and started to cry because I felt like such a bad parent. Probably didn't need to know about the crying part huh? Ya, T.M.I., whatev.

I gotta wrap this up now. I have to skidattle to the nursery early for a meeting.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! for all the great messages, the laughs and the kisses and hugs. Harlow has gotten everyone of them, sometimes more than once. Trust me, you have only to kiss those ears once to become addicted to there velvety goodness.

Happy Valentines Day!!!

2006-02-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

Funny, this photo is my "Most Viewed" photo on my Flickr site. It doesn't even belong to any groups or anything like that. Maybe it was the tags that I put on it. I like this pic a lot. It makes me smile and laugh a little. That kiss...well, it just looks a little funny is all. That shot wasn't planned, it was pretty spontaneous.

All that aside, it is a moment in time that is forever frozen here and in memory, of warm sandy beaches, long walks, and good friends. We get so caught up in our day to day lives and never seem to have many moments like these until we can actually get away from it all. It really makes you long for more of them. That's not to say that the daily routine does not comfort me either. There is a lot to be said for the continuity of our lives, and for someone that is as routine and controlling(okay, anal) as I am, it comes as a great comfort in the end.

One thing that I have realized of late though, and one that I didn't consider too much, but have now, is the fact that I no longer love Nick the same way that I used to. My love has changed and by that I mean matured and grown, evolved, fractured and healed. Our love has little bumps and irregularities, places where little cuts have healed. Our love is not perfect or the stuff of fairy tale. But our love is comforting and strong, the stuff of happiness and sorrow, it's real. It's tangible.

My dearest, sweet Nicholas, you have altered the course of my life to such immeasurable degrees. In some ways, I have fought and resisted, in others I have pulled you kicking and screaming. But always we have found each other standing side by side, holding hands and kissing with sweet 'I love you's'. Thank you for being my forever Valentine. I love you.

Sad Pooper Update

2006-02-13T12:18:00.000-08:00

This cone is a new reality for us and her. For all the misery and stress this has been, I have to work really hard at not giggling...you know...just a little. She got herself stuck in the kitchen already between the cabinets on one side and the stove on the other. Butt against one and the cone stuck on the other. What do you call that? It's not high centered.

Thank you for all the wonderful hugs and well wishes. Harlow is being smothered in get well kisses. We both had a long night last night, so I think we'll go take a nap now. She's taking velcro dog to a whole new level with this. She just wants to be cuddled and who could blame her?

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

2006-02-12T13:29:00.000-08:00

UPDATE
Pooper is home now, and soooooo groggy. Poor girl, she's miserable at the moment. I finally got her to lay down, but she's fighting it.

Ahhh...looks like she finally gave in. Thanks for the words, thoughts and hugs.

You can go to Flickr.com if you wanna see the photos of her injury

*************************
My sweet baby girl is under at the moment, while a veterinarian busily stitches her up. Today at the field, while playing fetch with a stick, another dog that was joining in took a swipe at her. Micah is young, but she's a full sized German Shephard. It surprised us all really. At first it seemed like nothing, well that is of course except for the relentless screaming coming from Harlow. I rushed to her to get an idea of what happened. I thought it was something like her bones in her leg, but it was two inch long gashes in her hide on her left shoulder. I calmed her down to get her to stop sceaming and once I realized what was wrong, I scooped her up and headed for the car. I didn't even say anything to anyone, I just said a lot of words that are mostly four lettered. I think I said I have to get her to a vet, she needs stitches. It was about 100 yards back to the car and Harlow weighs 47 pounds. My back is not being very forgiving right now. SPASM! SPASM! SPASM!

I'm waiting for them to call us to let us know she can come home. It's killing me to have her there. I'm supposed to be working on a design and documents right now, but I CAN'T FOCUS. This is not how I wanted Sunday to be. I'm just incredibly grateful it's nothing more serious, I know that this is nothing at all, very simple and easy to fix. However, having it happen on a Sunday, makes it hard to swallow, it's fucking expensive to use Emergency Pet Hospitals. FUCKING expensive.

I just realized that I still have the blood stained sweater on from this morning. I think I'll go change now. I'll let you know when she's home...with me...snuggled in. TIGHT!!! Gonna go cry now, but not like a big girl, no, not like that at all.

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-02-10T07:47:00.000-08:00

Wow! Can you believe it? I actually got in two posts between Pooper Fridays!!! I don't imagine it will get much better than this.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. It's been sunny and clear here for days now. Freezing in the mornings, but mild to cool during the days. Most importantly though...DRY!!!

Commencing the Blog-o-versary...NOW!!!

2006-02-09T06:31:00.000-08:00

Just like any other anniversary, this one would not be complete with out flowers to celebrate. Now look, some of you may think to yourselves, haven't we/I seen these before? NO, you haven't, not really...I mean, these are different yellow tulips than the last bunch, so they really aren't the same. PLUS, the shots and angles are completely different. Moving on now.

Blog anniversary, something that I completely forgot about until Susie mentioned her one year, and then of course Ern-baby had one and then Kelli and of course fertile-mrtl up north. Well, it made me check my archives and find out just when is my big date. Funny how we all started blogging about the same time and we all met over at Dooce.com, or at least I assume that's where we met. If you look at my list of blogs that I have, I can say, that a majority of them were at sometime part of the comment section there. Sigh, good times.

I've been thinking a lot about this post, trying to come up with some kind of frame work to post it in. You know, reference my old posts, maybe my favorite, or most commented post. Landmark moments and blog blunders. Truth is, I just don't want to go through the process of finding all that information. I already know what I feel about them, about this activity of dispersing thoughts, ideas and emotion. This has probably saved me from a lot of loneliness. I know that I have trumpeted the positives about blogging, what blogging means to me, blah, blah. But come on, it's all true.

When I first began, I felt like a kid in a new school. People saw me there, but went flying by on their way to Dooce.com or some other happening blog. Then one day, someone said hi, or complimented me on my comment. Little by little, I became more and more confident, I 'met' new people, learned about others and their humor, their losses, their pain, their hopes and aspirations. I 'met' people just like me who were finding their voice. What started out as a selfish fulfillment, led me towards something bigger than myself. I found myself drawn into other peoples lives and experiences. From the loss of a loved one, to the rallying call for aid to support friends affected by Katrina (the whore). I also found that people were there for me too. Whenever I shared painful or difficult moments, people were there who reached out to encourage, to comfort or just to say I'm here.

I remember in the beginning, I was so focused on comments. Comments were like gold. If you were getting comments, you were there baby. You had arrived. I remember going blog hopping, leaving words behind everywhere, trying to build my network. What I didn't count on was that I would make friends, real friends. Oh sure, we've never met, never even talked on the phone, but I know that I have made real friends here and you know who you are. Even when I all but stopped posting, even thought about pulling the plug, the only reason I kept going was because of you. I knew that I would miss you too much. I know that I have a lot more to say here too. I haven't found the courage or the words yet, but it's coming little by little. I have to conquer the fear of certain people (Hi Mom! Hi Dad!) who read my blog. Some things take time and patience to get out, and I know I'll find a way to do so.

****side note to Mom and Dad
Breath in now and let it out. It's nothing earth shattering, it's just that normal I don't think I could ever tell my parents thing. However, I guess there was that time when I was going under for my tonsilectomy, where you said that I said some things to you Mom. Man I hope it wasn't anything bad. Just breath in and out, nice and steady. Okay? Okay. I love you!
****end side note to Mom and Dad (previously known as the parental units, but they said they didn't like that. sheesh)

I believe that one of my primary focuses has been about my gayness and what that has been like for me. I've not really discussed too much really, but I have touched on some pretty key moments. I still believe that this is an important part of my blog, I just haven't been focused enough to make it happen. I think it goes back to courage and fear. If this were an anonymous place, I might be more raw and direct, but it's not and I'm glad it's not. I don't believe that it has to be raw and direct to make a point. I do believe that talking about my day to day, my past and my experiences can help build understanding about why it's so important not to exclude anyone in our basic rights as citizens in this once great country.

In conclusion, I would like to say thank you for all the friendship and support, even love. I could not of imagined that I would of stuck with this as long as I have, but I did. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere soon. Thank you for all the encouragement along the way. I hope you'll continue with me on this journey.

See you on Pooper Friday!

Kind Regards, Love and Friendship,
Greenie

A Day Off with D70

2006-02-08T07:22:00.000-08:00

Monday was a beautiful sunfilled day. Harlow and I spent the day together running around. It's grey and wet again today, but there is hope that more sun is just a day away. I'm not going to post anything else today. Tomorrow is my 1 year blog-a-versary. Crazy!

Click on an image to see a full size version

Click on an image to see a full size version

Click on an image to see a full size version

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-02-03T06:41:00.000-08:00

Obviously, not a photo I took and not one of my better moments to be captured, but a moment that I love. Harlow is the best nap buddy.

So in my recent post, I linked to a fellow blogger that I love and find completely adorable and hilarious. Recently and it seems very close to the time of the post, that link stopped working. I've since learned that she's taking a break from it so I have disabled that link from the post and the list. I will not however, remove her completely, I like seeing Spoonleg still there.

Something else that was part of the last post, or rather the comment section was the question of "marriage". Yes Effie, you were jumping to conclusions, there are no wedding bells here at Casa de Homo. The only bell that rings around here is the one at the back door for Harlow. She rings it to let us know it's time for us to let her out...for the 100th time that day. 20 of which may occur during the actual writing of this post...be right back...the bell...ya, it rings.

Where were we...ah yes, the "marriage is love" thingy at the bottom of the site. I got that from Amanda B. who also has it proudly displayed on her site. I didn't realize until just recently that it was a piece of code that you can actually copy and display on your own site. So thank you to Amanda B. for being a staunch and I mean really hard core supporter of Equal Rights. This isn't about just Gay Rights to me, it's that recognition that I'm no different than you or anyone else. I recently read the headline on the local paper at a newstand about how the state passed a Gay Rights Bill (barely) and that there is already speculation that it will go down in the next round of legislation.

I have to say that reading that, well, it made my neck stiffen ever so much. I am not an activist. I'm not. Some may read this and think me lazy, or to passive or that I don't take my freedoms, or lack there of, seriously enough. Okay, that's fine. But it makes me sick to think that 'special' legislation has to be implemented on my behalf, just so I can have the same or almost the same rights as everyone else. I'm no different than anyone else on this godforsaken planet. I work hard, I pay taxes, I buy comsumer goods to fuel the very same economy you live in. I abide by the laws, I vote and even believe that you should be able to worship as you see fit. Where in that am I different than you??? Don't say because I have sex with the same sex, don't. Do not attempt to debase, degrade or even belittle what I have. Because what I have is what a lot of other people just like you and just like me have...LOVE. Heartbreaking, committment filled, trust building and often times frustration filled LOVE. I have companionship, a friend and a lover. Someone that completes me and makes me want to be better than I am today.

Every day I walk out my door, get in my car and head for my job. Everyday I encounter the people in my community and I talk, rub elblows and even laugh with them. That's what I want people to see, that I'm just like them. I don't want them to look at me and say, "It's great that they finally gave you special rights to be like the rest of us." I am like the rest of us. I'm you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish getting ready for work. Things like, clean up my dishes, brush my teeth, comb my hair, feed the fish and the dog. Oh and I can't forget to pay my mortgage, my light bill and my heating too. Probably better pick up the dry cleaning after work, stop and get some groceries for dinner tonight.

Happy Friday Everyone!

I Done Been Tagged!!!

2006-01-31T08:00:00.000-08:00

This hasn't happened in a long time. Or, maybe it has, and due to my complete lack of blog surfing, I just didn't realize it. Ya, I think it's because everyone knows not to tag greenthumb, cause he's a slacker. No worries, true to form, it took me a few days to realize I was tagged and then a few more to actually follow through.

This one is for you RipZip.

Four jobs you have had in your life:
Waiter
K-Mart Apparel Associate - quite possibly one of the funnest and bizzarest jobs. I really did do Blue Light announcements.
1 Hour Photo Guy - short lived due to the fact that I left for my Mission shortly thereafter.
Produce Person- Thriftway in my hometown.

Four Movies you could watch over and over:
Drop Dead Gorgeous - (these are the same reasons as Ripzips, but they are dead on. This movie totally is one of my all time faves.) There are many and varied reasons, but the main ones have to be Denise Richards and her dance routine with Jesus, Ellen Barkin and her beer can, Brittany Murphy screaming "He's GAY Dad! Peter is GAAAAAYYYY!!", Kirsten Dunst practicing her tap routine in the morgue, vomiting beauty contestants, and the enchanting Minnesota accent.

Fargo - More Minnesota accent, but darker, edgier and bloodier. Go Bears!

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King - One of my all time faves!!!

I never tire of old Doris Day/Rock Hudson films. Carey Grant too. Alfred Hitchcock Films too.

Four Places I have Lived:
Washington State - born and raised, left, came back, left again, came back, left and now back. Only this time, instead of just moving back and forth across the border, I made sure to move waaaaay up north, so that it wouldn't be so easy to just, you know, move back.
Oregon - for almost 12 years
Arizona - I don't know if I can really count this, but I did move there.
Georgia - All over the Northern half of the state. A shout out to Cedartown, Douglasville, Gainesville, Lawrenceville, Clarksville, Dunwoody and Roswell. Hey Ya'll!!!

Four TV Shows I like to watch:
Commander and Chief - I love, love, love this show.
Will and Grace - I can never get enough Karen and Jack.
The City Gardner - Matt James is my British TV boyfriend.
The Colbert Report - This guy is a total FREAK and I love IT!!!.

Four Places I have been on vacation:
Spain - Malaga, Cordoba, Cazorla, Granada, Sevilla
London
Maui
Barkley Sound, British Columbia - 10 days of kayaking, no showers and roughing it. Still one of my best vacations EVER.

Four Websites I go to daily:
Dooce.com - The woman is brilliant, sheer genius and her little girl is too cute for words.
Flickr - I love seeing what my contacts have shot and check out my own page.
Yahoo! - for a quick shot of top news stories. You don't need a link to that. Fine...It's Yahoo.com. You're on your own from there.
klog Okay, so maybe not everyday, but one of my all time faves to visit and one I do frequent a lot more than any other. Kelli is just about the cutest thing to come out of Redneck Valley ever. Firey temper, quick wit, cute haircut with highlights, long sexy legs and a passion for John Stamos that won't die.

I have many blogs that I would like to check on everyday, but I'm not on the computer long enough everyday to accomplish that. I'm thinking of creating a grid on the wall with all my favorite blogs in each square and a corresponding number. I'll then spin the wheel or get a bingo ball tosser to choose a corresponding number from. That way, it's totally random. He! He! Bingo Ball Tosser!!! LOL!!! Oh come on, that's funny.

Four favorite foods:
Thai - mmmm....curry.
Italian - I could live on this alone.
Spanish (not to be confused with Mexican) - I love tapas!
American - sometimes you just gotta have Fried Chicken, Potato Salad and Apple Pie or just a really good Hamburger.

Four places I would rather be right now:
Maui or anywhere in Hawaii
Southern Spain
Australia
Anywhere there is Sunshine. Damn this rain, damn it to hell!!!

Four people I'm tagging:
Fertile mrtl - because she makes me smile and I'm dying to know more about her.

Torrie - she's preggers for the first time and I want to draw attention to the fact that she's still HOT!!! even though she's carrying her baby in her boobs.

Homestead - proof that you can be educated, hot, married to someone just as educated and hot, have a cute kid and still be a Redneck.

Spoonie-licious - she may stick finger in peoples bumcake on a regular basis, have bloody family gatherings and disappoint her Mother on a daily basis, but she does it all with a gorgeous smile, crack you up humor and finess.

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-01-27T07:18:00.000-08:00

Dirty window aside, I really like the way this shot turned out. Aesthetically, it's not the greatest, but I love the way she looks here.

A Little Reflection

2006-01-25T06:54:00.000-08:00

LOL!!! Get it?!?! Reflection...oooohhkay, ya I know.

I took Harlow out to the Field on Monday, her favoritest thing in the whole wide world. She loves that place and she always asks to go, but lately it's too dark to go after work and so she goes for days in a row with out it. Well, at this time of the year, it's also saturated with H2O, and for those of you not familiar with that, it means RAIN, WATER, LOTS of IT. I finally invested in a pair of Wellies, or rubber boots to tromp around in out there. Every now and then the mud and water threaten to suck my boot right off. Some diety better help me if I ever have to take off at a run after Harlow, I just know I'll lose one or both boots in the process. Don't think I won't take THAT out on her as well, cause I will.

My Uncle is on his way home from the hospital and a long road to full strength, but he's here with us. I received a loving email and update from Gramma last night. My heartfelt thanks to you all for the love and encouragement, the virtual hugs and just overall presence here with me. My blog has taken some turns and twists over time and as I quickly tumble towards my 1 year anniversary, I feel so very fortunate for some very wonderful bloggers that I have 'met' here. Some still visit, some have moved on, but all have left a lasting mark here and with me.

Yesterday, we had our first real full day of sunshine. We're talking eye squinting, blue sky glaring sunshiny day y'all. IT FELT SO GOOD!!! ( Thank you Susie, and you know why.) I was gettin' jiggy wid it up in the potting shed listening to the radio while potting roses. I just couldn't help myself. I totally felt like ELLEN. Right now there is a beautiful sunrise taking place outside the window. I better get busy and hit the road to the nursery. Have a glorious day.

About Jack...

2006-01-22T20:52:00.000-08:00

I know some of you are wondering how things went the other night with Jack, the Weimaraner up for adoption. Well, it didn't go well for us at all. We went to the agency where he was at and met him. We took Harlow along as they recommended to see how they would interact. I knew that she would ignore him for the most part, that's just the way she is when she's out. After about 10 mins. or so my gutt reaction was no, he's not for us. I was fighting a battle in my head though, giving him points for being where he was, being a bit traumatized and so forth. They offered to let us foster him for a bit to see how things would work rather than out and out adopt him. Even though my gutt reaction was no, I saw this as an opportunity to give him a different environment, as well as test Harlow's acceptance in her space.

A couple of things that were stacked against him for us was the fact that he was not a nuetured male until 4-5 days ago. While we were in the play area at the agency, that boy marked more places than you would of thought possible. Strike one. His focus on Harlow was borderline obnoxious and she had to nip at him more than once, but he could not stay away from her backside. Strike two.

Things in his favor that were determined after getting him home include very loving and such a sweet face. It was painfully obvious that he wants to be loved and reassured and that's something we can do very easily.

What I went to bed knowing that night, was that my gutt instinct usually is right on. Something that neither of us can tolerate is the marking of territory, especially when it's inside and when it was my bed...twice. I can accept that it was a situation where he was on scent overload, but he had no concept of what 'No' was, not to mention what his name was. Jack needs to be in an environment where he get's the full focus of one individual who can teach him basics and still allow him to be a male dog.

We are feeling guilty for taking him back the next day. When we got there the night of the introduction, there was so much excitement on the part of everyone there. They all knew we were coming and everyone was so enthusiastic. I'm not sure if their desire for us to take Jack didn't have some influence on me as well. I'm not sure if I am someone that can rehabilitate a dog that has been surrendered like that. I have seen the good that can come of rescuing a dog first hand, but I have never been the one to take that on. Perhaps we were unprepared to take on that responsibility and should of prepared more.

I know there are a lot of people out there that are part of a movement that adoption is needed. I couldn't agree more. But what if I'm not capable of that route? I'm not even sure that I can do another dog. I find myself clinging to Harlow even more the last couple of days. I am very attached to my relationship with her and I get anxious about that being disrupted in anyway. She's my best friend and I like our one on one time, but I want to be fair to her too. I don't imagine it's much fun being home alone during the day.

Anyway, I think I/we will take a step back and evaluate this some more. We still feel awful about taking him back there, but we know someone else will see how sweet he is and want him.

****

I received a phone call this afternoon that my uncle had been hospitalized for a heart attack. They performed heart surgery on him today, the procedure where they go in with the scope and Roto-Rooter his arteries. This should allieviate the situation, but he is pretty weak. This is the same uncle that lost his son recently. Our family is on edge as you can imagine. My thoughts are with him and his family tonight after a long and arduous weekend.

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-01-20T06:50:00.000-08:00

Puppy Dog Eyes

I'm probably going to jinx us by saying this, but tonight we are going over to the pet adoption place to see a 1yr 4mo old Weimaraner named Jack. We've been talking about getting another dog for a while now and I've been fairly set on getting another Weimaraner. I just love the breed that much. Nick has wanted a Boxer and I have told him that he should get one, but we can't justify buying a puppy when there are dogs like Jack available. I really hope that it's a good connection tonight for us and Harlow. I have to say though, there is a site that I visit quite often called Daily Oliver that pretty much made the deal for me. Oliver and Hugo OF FRANCE!!! are gorgeous and funny, even if they are being totally exploited. (unlike any Weimaraners on this site.)

Oh the Humiliation

Before I go, I would like to express my gratitude for the loving words recently received in the previous post. You are such kind and loving individuals and it's a great privilage to have you here. Thank you!!!

Acceptance and Understanding

2006-01-17T04:19:00.000-08:00

Where to begin? It's early, I've been lying awake for some time, so I decided to just get up. I'm home from the funeral trip and I've spent a lot of time on the road in the last three days. This has provided me with a lot of time to think, remember and to analyze so many things. I'm not sure how articulate and how clear I can be at this hour or with this subject matter, but lying in bed was making me nuts so I thought it best to make a go at it at least.

First and foremost, thank you for the love and support of late. Never underestimate the power of words and there ability to uplift and encourage. Thank you for that.

I guess that is something I take away from this experience too, that ability to have an impact in so many ways. I don't think we ever fully realize what we do in that regard, nor are we able to discern how others leave their imprint, or rather how broadly. It was so amazing to see how one young man in only 22 years of life had touched so many. As I sat there during the memorial, watching images on a screen, hearing words of love and admiration, I felt that I had missed out on something by not having known him better.

Being with my family and seeing the loss in their eyes, their pain and disbelief that someone so young and full of life had been taken from them, broke my heart repeatedly. My grandmother clutching me and each of her grandchildren tightly, weeping for the loss of her youngest one, feeling helpless that she can't hold onto them all and keep them safe. My grandfather, a man that has left a legacy of fear of misbehaving in his presence that started first hand with his own children, that was felt by us, the first of the grandchildren, and even though time and years soothed him, managed to be passed on by us through word of mouth to each subsequent generation of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Here he was faced with the loss of a child that he loved, finding himself helpless to do anything about it, unable to give his grieving son enough comfort to take away his pain. That impact of his departure, from ground zero with my Aunt and Uncle to those of us in each level outward and away from it ignites so many emotions and reactions, from their loss and confusion of it, to those holding on to the ones still here, making contact and renewing convictions of love.

Death does so many things to us and yet it is a course as natural as anything ever could be. No matter how many centuries have passed, no matter the understanding or the enlightenment, the pain of loss from death has remained constant. Some take refuge in their faith and hope of a life after this, while some view it as the literal end. For some, the physical pain will never cease as is the case for a mother who has lost a child, and in this case, a twin who feels the loss of half of who she is. In this, I'm reminded of my own loss and the sorrow that I continually feel and the tears that come unbidden anytime that I talk about my grandmother. And while I will not equate my pain and loss with those that my Aunt and Uncle and their children feel, I understand something of my own pain a little better today for having experienced this with them and my own sense of compassion for others has increased.

Death does so much more for us, like reminding us to live each day to the fullest, to tell those close to us how much we love them, not to take for granted the little things. While I don't feel I have the clarity yet, I do feel as though my understanding and acceptance, yes, that's what it is...THAT is what I think has been eluding me here. My acceptance of my own mourning and loss. I've ignored it mostly, avoided it, but I think this weekend I finally looked at it and began the process of acceptance.

Last night I was reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom. If you haven't read this, I suggest it to you. It's touching and heartfelt and filled with nuggets of golden insight that we tend to ignore. Anyway, he's being interviewed by Ted Koppel, this old man who is dying. It's a follow up interview to one previously held and they are discussing the mail that has poured in from viewers. One letter is from a school teacher who teaches a select group of children who have one common thread, the loss of a parent. Morrie read a letter he wrote back:

"Dear Barbara...I was very moved by your letter. I feel the work you have done with the children who have lost a parent is very important. I also lost a parent at an early age..." Suddenly, with the cameras still humming, Morrie adjusted the glasses. He stopped, bit his lip, and began to choke up. Tears fell down his nose. "I lost my mother when I was a child...and it was quite a blow to me...I wish I'd had a group like yours where I would have been able to talk about my sorrows. I would have joined your group because..." His voice cracked. "...Because I was so lonely..."

"Morrie," Koppel said, "that was seventy years ago your mother died. The pain still goes on?"

"You bet, " Morrie whispered.

The pain, it goes on and I understand that now. I know that it will be that way for my family too. I know more than ever what that means for my beloved friend Mandy, my bestest friend Skanky and my love and my life Nick. I understand what it means for me too, and why I feel this loneliness from time to time, and I'm going to try and not be afraid of it anymore.

Pooper Friday!!!

2006-01-13T06:47:00.000-08:00

How sweet are these pictures? This is proof that she loves him too. (Notice I didn't say 'just as much'? Ya, it was deliberate.) These were taken the other morning before work. Niether of them wanted to get up that day and I found them like this on the couch. You might think that she closed her eyes because of me, Mister Flash, but she did indeed intend to fall asleep. And they did. My two favorite nap buddies together, only there wasn't room for me.

Have you seen the sun?

2006-01-11T06:49:00.000-08:00

Hamamelis or Witch Hazel 'Jalena'

I think I finally figured out what my deal is lately. I'm suffering from S.A.D. (Seasonal Asshole Disorder). Well, this and a few other things. I've been battling another head cold which is now on it's way out. Last week we received news that my cousin Josh was killed in a head on collision as well. Having just read this, I want to say that this list is not in any priority, it's just how it tumbled out.

I was not close to Josh at all. I'm actually quite a bit older than he is. In fact, I'm the oldest of the grandchildren and he is the youngest. I was gone for most of his life, seeing him on that occasional family get together, feeling overwhelmed that he and his twin sister were growing up so much, so fast. More than anything, my heart has been aching for my family. I'm so far from everyone, I'm completely out of sinc with the whole thing. I feel completely disconnected.

I'll be heading down to the hometown this Saturday after work. This will be a solo trip this time. Services will be held this Sunday and I'll turn around and head home on Monday. Since I'm heading down so late on Saturday, I may try and spend the night in Portland with my Skanky Girl. I'll have to check still, but it would be great to see her. She's preger's with her first and it's a girl and I haven't seen her actually 'looking' pregnant yet. I hear her tits are gy-normous!

Sorry there hasn't been much on here lately. I'm completely out of sorts. It's been raining for weeks now and it's starting to wear on me. Apparently we are on our way to matching the record for number of contiguous days of rain. We're around 24 days now I think. I keep looking at that little bottle of Prozac and thinking maybe I should, you know, start again. I hate that I am prone to this, but my thoughts are random, my attitude flat and my focus nil. I can't keep going like this. Someone please bring back the sun, just for a week or so. I don't care if it's 28 degrees out, just bright sunlight. I've been bringing in the winter flowering shrubs and making displays at work. Mostly because that's what we do, but also for myself. It does help to have the Witch Hazels inside with their bright yellow and orange blossoms, not to mention their fragrance. The flower shed is filling up with Primroses and that certainly boosts your spirits, reminds you that spring is coming. My bulbs that I forced are starting to bloom as well and some of my orchids are showing signs that they too might join in on the scene. Reminders for me to keep my head up and keep trudging through.

Greenie Update!!!

2006-01-03T05:13:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!!! It didn't really occur to me until last night that it's 2006. I know, I know, what? I realize it's a new year, but you know what I mean. It's like the first time you go to write a check or post the date to something and you catch yourself putting the old year down, only I was just kinda thinking about it and not actually writing it down. My computer 'knows' to reset for the new year and daylight savings, but I have to do a manual reboot of my brain, and I was just off by a few days is all.

Things around El Casa de Homo are finally back to some semblance of normal. The tree and decorations have been once again relegated to the attic. We splurged on some new storage devices for the ornaments. I love Target! Now the ornaments are neatly stored in compartmentalized trays that stack and snap. GLORIOUS!!! All that's left are the outdoor lights and my goal is to have them down before the end of May this year. I spent yesterday scrubbing, dusting, washing and putting away. Afterwards, I and the house took a nice deep breath. I swear I heard the house go aaahhhhhh!

New Years Eve turned out to be an interesting night. We had been invited to attend a drag show in Kent, which is a bit south of Seattle. No offense to the good people of Kent, but that little bit of information right there should tell some people the general quality of things to expect. My favorite thing to do the day of and after, was whenever someone asked what are you doing for New Years...well, it went something like this.

Starbucks Barista: Happy New Year! Are you doing anything fun?
Me: Oh some friends have invited us to dinner and then a drag show.
Starbucks Barista: OOooh! How fun! Is that in Downtown/Capital Hill?
Me: *slight glint and oh no even better look* No, it's in Kent.
Starbucks Barista: *noticeable eyebrow raise* Oh!
Me: *laughing* I know huh? Should be interesting.

The night did not fail to live up to the anticipation. Now I know some of you may think I'm being snobbish, but you have to keep something in mind. Kent is a small town, an up and coming suburb of Seattle it may be, but cosmopolitan she ain't. So the idea of something like a drag show in a little locally known gay bar, that's really a Lesbian Bar, well, you start to see my point more clearly right?

Some people think that ALL gay men and ALL gay women are all on the same team sort of thing. Gay is gay right? I don't think I have the capacity to list out the differences here, honestly. Gay men alone are so divided and complicated on their own as it is. If I were to think of the Gay Populace living on it's own planet (like that wouldn't be someone's best dream EVER) and having it's own type of United MoNations, I think of the diverse groups within the gay culture as individual delegates from their own nation. The list might look something like this:

LeviandBoots-Wanna
Trannyvainia
Dikelandia
Lipsticklesbiana
BearandCubsland
Twinkvainia
Sportkitsia
Musclemotamia
Suburbiamotanica (composed of gays and lesbians)
Drag Queensland
SadoMasopotamia

LOL!!! oh that was kinda fun. Anyway, it's very stereotypical of me and that's not what I'm really all about, but that night, I have to tell you, the lines between gays and lesbians were really well defined. Apparently this is a well known bar that caters to both, but it was so obvious that this was a lesbian bar. Now don't get me wrong, I loves me some lesbians. I really do, but I totally felt like I was trespassing here. I sort of liken it to this, how you know your parents and you are around them all the time, but then one night when they least expect it, you walk in and there they are being all intimate and you gasp and they gasp and you look up, they freeze in place...awkward, awkward, awkward. Oh god!!! My eyes! My eyes! Okay, that's a little extreme but it makes the point right? Ya, I was totally feeling awkward being in a room FULL of ladies loving and dancing and having a great time together. While I have friends and associates that are lesbian, I have to say that this is the first time that I have ever been in a room full of them. And like that stupid list above, the number of differences in them were just as noticeable. You had the Bull Dike, the Lipstick, the Gangster (*new one for me*), all kinds and all very defined in look and behavior. It was a people watchers dream.

While that was all well and good, and it was friendly and fine. No hostile looks, not really. The drag show that followed was very tragic in my mind on sooo many levels, but there were a few bright spots in this. I have to say that my favorite was the D.Q. (Drag Queen) that did the Whitney Houston number "I will always love you". She was a big girl, white and half way through the number stepped behind the props and picked up a mirror with white powder all over it and started doing lines. The rest of the song was sung to the mirror and the contents on it. A bit harsh I know, but FUNNY!!!

*side note* by this point I had a few cocktails in me and everything was FUNNY!!! This number though, it was standing all by itself as funny. No drinks needed. *end side note*

So that was our New Years Eve. Memorable, funny, eye opening and entertaining. Nick and I left just before midnight to beat the rush, and we got to see the fireworks along the way home not to mention quite a few cops with cars pulled over. Don't worry, Nick was the designated driver.

I'm back to work today. Whew!!!

This has been your Greenie Update and that's all the news thats fit to print. Greenie Out!!!

Pooper Friday!!!

2005-12-30T15:22:00.000-08:00

THESE came in the mail yesterday for HARLOW. Not JUST for Harlow but TO Harlow specifically. Apparently someone's VBD took pity on her exploitation here on the blog and is making some vain attempt at creating some kind of support network or something. Puleeez, as if she's being forced to do the things you witness here. I assure you, this dog is totally and unequivicably doing this of her own free will.

Despite the packaging and Harlow's obvious inability to read, somehow she seemed to know that it was something for her. Fortunately for her, I was in a generous mood. This Diva behaivor is gonna get nipped in the bud....MMmmkaaay!?!

Early morning posting...What was I thinking?

2005-12-30T05:24:00.000-08:00

What's this you say??? A post? And not just a post with a picture and witty caption, but a real post with words and descriptions that form complete sentences. So if you're done with your gaspings and over exaggerated gesturing I'll get on with this post. Thank you.

I thought that I should break the pattern of posting Pooper Friday and then hiding out for another week with out any postings at all. If you think about it, like I did just now, this is very true to my nature in life. Touch base here and there, make gestures of good will for weeks on end and then find myself completely disconnected from people in my life. What to do, what to do? Oh I know, just put together a nice long lengthy email and send it out to everyone at once and get back to normal. This is what I did for Christmas this year, again. I failed to even send Christmas cards to my family. So I just pulled all my email addresses from my address book and sent it off. Even as I typed that, I just thought of someone that didn't get that email! Doh!!!

Most of the people on that email list were those that don't read this blog, or at least I don't think they do. (looking from side to side...hello?) Well, some of them do, I think and that's cool. At least they know what's going on here with us, but if I were to make direct contact with them I might actually know something about them and their lives too. What a novel idea right? The end result of this might make me feel more connected and in touch with people that I really do think about, care for immensely and miss terribly at times. Okay, I totally just thought of another person that got left off the email. Damn it!!!

Okay, so the point to this, if there is one, I just started writing a post and this the direction it took. IF I really think about it, and I've been trying not to think about too much lately, because I know where it will lead me. Remorse, regrets, sadness, disappointment (in myself). Part of this is the time of year, the holidays really make me melancholy. Of all the times of the year that people find themselves together with friends and family, it's the holidays. For the most part, this is not the case for me personally. This was the second Christmas in a row with out my Dad and Mom or any of my family or friends. To be fair, this was not imposed, but rather a choice and simply a fact of life. I know that I've lamented my dislike of the holidays and my distaste of Christmas in the past and it's true, they are very demanding holidays. But let's face it, a lot of the demand is self imposed and I realize that. The truth is, that I love Christmas with my parents, THAT'S Christmas. I could make things a lot easier on myself by being a lot more proactive about the holidays too. But this is only part of the problem, there is still the other 10 months of the year.

What I think has happened over the course of time and distance too, is that I have uprooted myself so many times that I have developed a knack of detaching myself to avoid hurt, loneliness and stuff. Now, if I was at my therapists office and said something too general like 'stuff', she would probably call me on it. That's a total avoidance word right there. What aren't you saying, what are you trying to push down? Ya, ya, I know, but this isn't my therapists office. I can't afford therapy anymore though, so I guess this is the place I come to now, or rather used to come to for therapy. I haven't emotted or expressed much here in some time. ( And this is where my therapist gets me back on tack) Anyway, stuff. Like I said, I've gotten really good at distancing myself over the years. Some of it started with my sexuality. I started distancing myself from people that I really loved and cared about out of fear of rejection because of the decisions I was making in my life. I've really paid for that one, and I've missed out on a lot. I've started over in my life so many times now, too many I think.

Moving here, to Seattle, was by far one of the most excruciating changes to date. I had really gotten established for the first time in my life in Portland and found myself surrounded by amazing, loving and supportive people. I often say that I grew up there, because that's where I really found myself and became happy with that person. I just didn't count on meeting and falling in love with someone from another State all together. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life to leave my home. But I did it. Once I make a decision to do something, I pretty much jump in with both feet and start moving, but when the day to leave finally arrived, I found myself panicked. My friend Pat had been helping us load the truck and when it came time for him to leave, I hugged him good-bye and thanked him for his help. As he drove away, I could feel my chest tighten and my head began to pound. I went to the bathroom and closed the door and buried my face in the bath towel and silently sobbed. I cleared my head and got my composer back and started loading up again. I became very bitchy and snapped at Nick. I knew I had to apologize and when I did, all I could do was fall apart and bawl like a baby. The reality of my situation came down on me like an avalanche.

My first year here in Seattle was difficult. I was lost. The Nursery became my first real place that felt like me. Does that make sense? I was only there for a short while when I was recruited off of Monster.com to work for the Wireless company. I really thought that getting that job was going to be a turning point for me and us. The pay was good, I had benefits and I thought it was sound and responsible decision. I know Nick was eager for me to start there. I just never connected there. It would be easy for me to say that it was environment, the culture or even the people. But it wasn't. It was me. I kept myself from settling in because after only a short 4 months, the company announced that they were merging. In my heart, I knew that I was missing the Nursery and not just the Nursery, but the people there too. Nick knew it too. I wouldn't have been able to go back with out his help. I hope he knows how much I love my job and how much I appreciate what it takes to let me be there.

So anyway, this post has turned into a lot more than I even thought it would. Mostly it feels very rambly, but it is what it is. I started this at 5:24 am, cut me some slack. In summary, I'm lousy at maintaining relationships, and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I leave a lot of friendships by moving or changing. I've managed to hang on to a few very special and valuable friendships through this move, and I hope they know that I'm not going to stop hanging on. I hope to even add a few more to the effort in fact. Maybe that's my New Years Resolution, friendships. It's a start. About that 'stuff' business earlier, notice how I completely avoided it? Ya that, so listen up, it's this. Friendships are a two way street. I feel bad that I have not been a good reciprocator, but it's not all me either. So stuff equates the other side of the situation, where there is no feedback or contact from you. It's often misread and misunderstood by me, which applies equally to the other side as well. Let's not keep each other in the dark anymore, call, write or even come visit. I'll try to do the same too.

I think it's time to wrap this one up.

Pooper Friday!!!

2005-12-23T09:05:00.000-08:00

"I said I wouldn't touch it!!! LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!!!!"

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE GANG AT CASA DE HOMO!!!

Love,
Greenie, Nick and Harlow

Pooper Friday!!!

2005-12-16T09:12:00.000-08:00

A Pooper and her Hog

I GOT IT UP!!!

CRAP!!! Christmas is COMING!!!

2005-12-13T05:49:00.000-08:00

I always say how I hate the Holidays when November rolls around. It's not entirely true, I don't actually HATE them, but I don't reeeally like them either. I do love some years more than others, this last Thanksgiving included. One thing that never changes is the dread of Christmas coming. Once it gets here and is over I'm fine, but I just dread the process. There is just too much to do and in those kinds of situations I stick my head in the sand so to speak.

Things I actually like about Christmas:

Lights! I love the lights. I even like putting them up. I like them simple though. I do like to see all the crazy shit that people manage to pull off with their houses, but I could never be that invested.

The Tree! Once it's up and decorated. Ours isn't at this point and we keep saying we are going to do it. We have company coming this weekend so that's a good motivator...maybe. It's a pre-lit artificial tree, which is great. Just slap the bitch together and plug her in. Okay, a little fluffing here and there and everywhere after a year in a box in the attic.

Family and Friends! Even while I'm typing this I'm re-thinking this one...just a little. Let's face it, Holidays can really bring out the best and the worst, and I suppose that's just the way it should be, but at the same time I really have to think twice on this one. I've never been good at keeping in touch with family or friends with the small exception of the inner circle. So when Christmas gets closer and the cards start arriving the pressure to send cards out commences. (See how this one is going away from things I like?) Family, I love my family, I do. I miss my Dad and Mom a lot. Friends, you know who you are and you know how much you mean to me. I'm sorry I'm not better at it myself. It doesn't mean that I don't like getting cards and letters, I'm just lousy at reciprocating and I hate that.

TANGENT
At 37 years old, let's face it, I've done a lot of variations on Christmas over the course of my life. I have years where I really put out a lot of effort to send out cards, buy gifts, decorate and entertain. I have had years where I did nothing at all. Granted, a lot of my efforts are also linked directly to my financial bottom line and let's not forget emotional well being either, but these two go hand in hand for me no matter what the season.

Things I don't like about Christmas:

Travel! I hate that I'm so far away from my friends and family at this time of year, and all year long. It's just not how I pictured my life to be. I'm constantly thinking of new and creative ways to relocate them here. What??? You think I should move closer to them? I've moved more than I can think of right now, and I'm not moving for at least another 3 years if at all. Nick has his way we are never moving, but that's another story.

Shopping! I love presents, but I hate buying them. Conversely, if I hate buying them, I don't want them either. It's only fair. Christmas is for the kids when it comes to presents, at least that's the way I feel. If I had a kid or kids, you know that I would go all out if I could.

So the pros out weight the cons and I can hear some of you Christmas Fanatics out there sounding pleased with yourselves. So while I'm not an out and out anti-Christmas monger, I'm always the reluctant participant. In my heart I want to be on top of things and able to make it happen, but in the end, I'm always thinking that Christmas for me is a week in Hawaii with my man on a beach, listening to the surf and soaking up golden rays of light. I know it may not be what everyone else wants, but for me, I would love it. Someday, that may just be the way it happens.

RANT!!!
I grew up Christian for the most part. I understand the significance and the meaning behind Christmas for Christians, I do. It's important to you and it matters. But Christmas is not the same for everyone and we do not live in a world that is just for Christians. ( I realize that not ALL Christians are this way, but just let me say this.) There are some Christian groups out there that are taking things to the extreme with this whole taking Christ out of Christmas campaign. We live in a modern world that has evolved past the idea of one world, one religion. When I was in school, we learned that people came to this country to escape persecution and to enjoy the freedom of religion. I know the media is to blame for a lot of the skewed perspectives, but it does make you stop and think about just what is going on here. How can you have a just and fair judicial and governmental body for a nation of diverse people if its all based on one religious bias? The answer is not in moving all the non-conformist out, or telling the ones that don't like it to leave. The answer is in having a government and judiciary that is not bought and paid for by one group or another. Does this make me an idealist? I realize that it's never simple, cut and dry. But I live on both sides of the board, or at least I have the perspective of living on both sides of the board. I dedicated a good portion of my life (early years) to learning, understanding and teaching about Christ and being a Christian. At the same time I also fought with my own inner being over who I am and what makes me, me. I found that I'm not just one way or another but that I'm a lot of different things. I'm not a zealot for one side or the other. I'm just a big fan of equality for all. If there is one thing that I've learned, the louder and harder you push to crush an ideal or way of life, the closer to home that ideal and way of life lies with in that individual. We fight the hardest against things we despise in ourselves.
END RANT!!!

So in closing, I send you all this Christmas Wish. That you are warm, that you are loved, that you have laughter to go with the tears and that you find yourself blessed with all that you require.

Pooper Friday!!!

2005-12-09T09:31:00.000-08:00

I'm still here...really.

Greenie Update

2005-11-29T20:22:00.000-08:00

One down, one to go. Thanksgiving is behind us and Christmas is looming in the distance. Thanks for all the well wishes. I'm happy to report that the day was a success. The Parental Uni...My Dad and Mom (hi Mom) made it here safe and sound and earlier than expected. The turkey had been in the oven for about 12 minutes when they called from McDonalds, our designated retrieval point because finding ones way to the Casa de Homo is best performed while under the influence...'er something. DON'T DRINK and DRIVE! (balance...heh)

This was the first time that I/we have ever hosted family for a holiday and one of my favorites to date. I suppose having my brother and sister-in-law with the neice an nephew could of rounded it out a little more, but it was nice for me to have them to myself too. I really enjoyed working shoulder to shoulder or butt to butt, with my momma in the kitchen. It's a long skinny kitchen, no room for more than two at a time. We pulled a really good meal together between the two of us. There was of course the bird, some cranberries, mashed potatoes made with Camambert cheese, roasted green beans with sea salt and garlic, stuffing, deviled eggs, homemade rolls, fruit salad and apple and pumpkin pies. More than enough for four peeps...and two poopers.

It's a bit of a tradition with my folks to go see a movie whenever we get together, and this was no exception. It was agreed in advance that we would see the new Harry Potter film. Loved it! (duh) We went shopping on Friday, took them to the nursery, played cards and watched "Finding Neverland". ( LOVED IT!) Ate more Pie. (Hi Mrtl!!! *waving*) I ended up going into work on Saturday and they decided that they should head for their home. It was such a great time for me personally. I have great parents. That said, I couldn't believe how exhausted I was after work on Saturday. It was a slow day at work and I only worked half a day, but still, when I got home, I was tanked. I slept until 9am Sunday. I NEVER sleep that late. EVER. I didn't realize that I was putting out so much energy. (Mom, that's a good thing.)

Luckily, I still had Sunday and Monday off, but now I'm back at it. We had over 500 Christmas trees delivered today. I'm gonna be sore tomorrow, I can already tell. We are in full swing with fire retarding and flocking, and pounding in tree stands. It's like our own little forest out there right now. It's fun to scare co-workers out there at night.

So yesterday, on my day off, I went for a drive around town. I ended up at this park north of Seattle, Carkeek Park, which is where I took the photos on this post. It was very cold out and very few people were there. I felt like I had the place to myself. This park has a salmon stream and to my pleasure, there were spawning salmon in it. I would of liked to have snapped some pics of that little bit of action, but they were all in areas offlimits to two legged kind. Out of respect, I observed the restrictions. It is a thrilling thing though, to witness this activity. I remember watching them in the fish ladders on the Columbia river as a kid, and watching films in school of the long struggle up river to the streams of their birth. Until I moved here, I had never witnessed wild salmon returning to their native home. At the rate of land development here, I doubt it can hold out much longer. As I walked out of the stream area, I heard a loud crack and pop as a large Maple tree crashed down the hillside. Nature...she know's how to rock the house.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

2005-11-24T09:26:00.000-08:00

The parental units are on their way...we hope. No word from them as yet. I have not put the bird in the oven yet, I have made the cranberry sauce though. That counts for something right???

Okay, better not dally here then, best get to cookin'.

Just one thing, or two before I go. I would like to extend thanks to all you who regularly read and comment here. You give me so much happiness here. Your friendships have narrowed the distance I so often feel and there is no greater gift than friendship and love. I hope that today finds you smothered in love, family and close friends.

Love,
Greenie

Pooper Friday!!!

2005-11-18T06:13:00.000-08:00

For all you HUMANE types out there...the sock...it's clean. These are socks that I tossed out and Nick made a big tug toy out of. This one came off. Note the intent stare in those HUGE eyes. He has the toy.

Just a couple of quickies...

2005-11-16T07:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday while discussing the potting shed at the nursery and what to do with it during Christmas Tree season, someone mentioned putting Hot Chocolate and Cookies in it. Apparently I really liked this idea...A LOT. Because, you see, when I said how much I like the idea these were the words that came out:

" Oooh! Hot Cocklit and Chickies! " WTF??

This led to a full day of ribbing from the girls in front of which I spoke these words. Oh well, maybe you had to be there.

*******

Today, it became completely apparent to me that I can never again be a single man. While making my morning Oatmeal, I got two bowls down from the cupboard. There's only me here...he leaves before I do. The bowl sat there for a good few minutes until I got ready to put brown sugar in it. If this isn't marriage, I don't know what is.

Me, myself and my other shadow...

2005-11-15T08:35:00.000-08:00

Pooper Friday!!!

2005-11-11T07:54:00.000-08:00

This, That and the Other...

2005-11-09T18:55:00.000-08:00

It's funny, I really do think about blogging all the time. I think about how much I miss it. I know that I've said that I have lots to say, how I have a lot on my mind. The truth is, I don't think there really is all that much going on in my head lately. I don't listen to the news, watch the news or read it. I'm about as clued in on what's going on in the world as Harlow. What I can tell you is that the squirrel population is holding steady and that daily trespassings on our property are at an all time high. This can only be due to the fact that the bird feeding stations are now back in operation. This is what Harlow knows with acuity. She is an aficionado of Squirrel activity and our windows have the crusty and not so crusty nose prints to prove it.

Sadly, what I do know currently, is the status of "Desperate Housewives", "Commander in Chief" and "City Gardner". I'm not quite up to date on "Boston Legal", "America's Next Top Model", "Lost" or "Supernatural", but this is only because I have made a conscious decision to sit down here tonight and make some attempt to create a post here. I think what it's going to be...is really just...you know...another....GREENIE UPDATE!!!

I know some of you are wondering how the whole Christmas Open House thingy-ma-jig went. I have to say, that despite the torrential downpour and flooding of the upper nursery area, that it went very well. As requested I have attempted to document via the D70 the many displays that were created in honor of this occasion. I would like to say here and now, that these are not all my creations. This effort is beyond my own ability to accomplish in the amount of time that it took. My co-workers all contributed to this and the resulting event was acknowledged as, and I quote, "The best the nursery has ever looked at Christmas Open House." I have no other events to compare it to myself, but I have to say, that it did look pretty nice. When you are so used to seeing the nursery in a certain way, it really changes your perspective to see it decorated and lit with soft ambient light. It was transformative, so much so that I even had to bust some guy for smoking pot among the displays. Apparently the festive air had some affect on him, or one that needed medicating to make go away. I decided not to take it personally, but I did confront him and make sure he knew that he needed to resist the urge to light up again.

Because of the cool wet weather, Portable Heaters were brought in. These are large diesel generators that sit on the outside and blow warm, if fumey air, through large tubes. Near one of the areas that heat was being delivered, a school choir that was waiting in the wings for their turn to dazzle and delight was the poor victim of a backfire from the heater. I was standing near by when the heater backfired and I can testify that it is a LOUD bang that happens quick and unexpectedly. Much louder than a car people. Now imagine a line of 20 or so 12 year olds standing with in 10 feat of this event. Ya, the screaming...it was louder and funnier still. The school teacher was right there asking if she needed to evacuate her kids. While I realize the humor in the situation, I also can't fail to miss the incredible impact that a loud explosion plays in our psychological state. We reassured her that it was safe and the show went on.

For those interested, here are the images. Looking at these makes me realize how out of context they appear here. I wish you could of seen it in person. It was so much better. This Moose picture is of some ornaments in the store, not part of my area. They made me think of the lovely mrtl so I had to include them. HI MRTL!!!! *waving*

As mentioned, RAIN has returned to the Emerald City. Lots and lots of rain and snow in the mountains. This of course, is a good thing. However, it means that a lot more time is spent indoors. One of the few things I took home with me from my last job was a small 6 gallon aquarium that housed three baby Angel Fish. The funny thing about anything that is 'baby' something, is that it's implied that it is small, but we often forget that babies grow. Well, the Angel's have been growing in their small captive little tank and they are overwhelming the filtration system with their waste. It just can't keep up with all the crap. This last weekend, the mister and I headed out in search of a solution. The solution is a new and quite clean looking 55 gallon aquarium. The Angels seem quite pleased with all the new room to roam. I swear they have grown another inch just since Sunday, but I know that can't be...can it?

Rain has returned, but it did decide to let up on Monday, so much so that I took the Pooper to the field, correction, the flooded field for a little recreation. She was of course, beside herself with joy. She had been cooped up for over a week at this point. On our return pass through the field I saw a group of helium balloons that appeared to have become trapped in the branches of a tree. I reached up and retrieved them from their captor. Harlow, who was out running circles saw that I was getting something down and came to inspect. What happened next only photographic evidence can tell. I just want to say, that I laughed. I laughed people...HARD! It was freakin' hilarious to watch her. It was a PAR-TAY!!! I bet those balloons thought that it was the end of the party when they got snagged. They had no idea that the real fun was just waiting to show up. See for yourselves...

I did forget to mention one other item of news. On Monday I visited Kenmore Camera's in the morning. You see, I've been itching to get a new lens, something that brings far away objects closer. I broke down and bought a new lens and like any kid with a new toy, couldn't wait before getting home to play with it, I had to get it out and see how it worked. Not all of the images are with the new lens, some are with my original lens. I have a lot to learn and understand about my new toy, but it was fun to try it out. You can see the shots from that day here....

Okay, this is quite the post for someone that doesn't have a lot to say or going on. I'll leave you with this for now. I don't know why I just wrote that. There's always more. I just realized that I wanted to send out love and gratitude to my friends (bloggies and otherwise) and family who continue to read and visit this site. It really is the best thing in the world to get a comment from you here. Okay, now I'm done. Love, Greenie.

Pooper Friday!!!

2005-11-04T07:49:00.000-08:00

TRICK 'R' TREATORS!?!

Finally...they turned off that damned porch light. There weren't as many as last year, my fear tactics must be working.

Wild Kingdom

2005-10-31T18:08:00.000-08:00

It was a day, not unlike any other day upon the Serengeti. After a long dry and hot summer, the rains had returned and life was abundant. Gone were the tiresome teetsy flies and dust storms, no longer were they pestering the Dik Dik antelope as they romped and fed upon lush new greens. A sense of calm had settled in and life was good.

Unknown to the gentle and friendly Dik Dik, a predator had come among them, silent and deadly. Perhaps there was something about his appearance that seemed familiar, known, but there was definitely something about his movements; the way his eyes were watching. He moved slowly, deliberately on the edge of the herd.

Time passed, and THEN...WITHOUT WARNING...one of the beloved Dik Dik's WAS GONE! JUST LIKE THAT! Quickly, the other Dik Diks assembled, and word passed that one of them had been taken by the familiar one, the one that had been watching. There seemed to be a panic in the herd, yet no one said anything, did anything...they just looked about them in shock. This loss made no sense. Why that one? He was not injured, ill or aged. He was young, full of life and healthy. Some of the Dik Dik's looked around them and said amongst themselves, why not that one, or even that one? They couldn't understand, it didn't make any sense at all.

Some one was unexpectedly fired from the nursery this last week. It was shocking and upseting. A reminder it was, of what can happen if you are not careful. There are two predators that walk the Serengeti, and it's a wise decision to immeadiately pick something up or look busy as soon as you spot them. AVOID EYE CONTACT.

******

Today, I cleaned the Basement/Garage. It was a day long job and a dirty one at that. All I can say, is thank all that is Holy for ShopVac people. It will suck up almost anything, and by anything I mean ANYTHING! Including spiders. Spiders that are so big that they leave a shadow on the wall as they scurry for a dark corner only to be sucked into the vortex of the ShopVac. Have you ever seen the Giant House Spider that lives in Seattle? I kid you not people, they exist and they are HUGE. Did I also mention that they are FAST???

THANK GOD FOR SHOPVAC!!!

One of the things that also lives, or I should say, attempts to live in our basement/garage is my orchid collection. Is it still a collection when half of them are dead from drought and mistreatment. It is my shame of shames, especially from someone known as Greenthumb. I think what happened is that so much STUFF eventually got piled and stacked around and in front of them that it became near impossible to get to them. The shear mess of it all kept me from going down at all. Much to my surprise, several still live and for there valliant effort, I have cleared the barriers, erected a new home closer to the sink and the heat and have renewed my committment to them, at least for another 6 months.

******

The Christmas decorating progresses, and things are looking good. I'll know more when I get in tomorrow, I've been off for 2 days and left a to-do list. Open House is this coming Saturday. It's all got to come together this week.

Playing Catch Up

2005-10-25T20:05:00.000-07:00

Do you ever head for your former stomping grounds, whether it's your home town or in my case, your other home town, without telling anyone, except maybe the person you are going to see? I do, and have, in fact just did. Saturday after work I made my way south to Portland to visit my best friend Skanky and her Mother and my other best friend May-May. I knew that I was only going to have a short time to visit, so avoided telling anyone else that I would be there. This accomplishes a couple of things. I get to have all my time with the girls to myself, and I avoid feeling bad if I can't see anyone else due to timing, convenience or what ever. Sometimes you just need to have the flexibility to do what you want. Another thing that this allows you to do though, is take an opportunity to surprise someone that you have been neglectful about staying in touch with. The real payoff to that one is when that person really is surprised to see you and happy about it. It's a gamble I know, but it worked out, or at least so it seemed.

My Skanky is preger's with her first and we have had no time together since the big news. We spent the day together on Sunday shopping, driving around the hood and seeing the changes about town. The best part of it all was the one on one time, the talking, the laughing, the tears and the hugs. I had no idea how much I needed that until I got it and felt something healing and warm inside at the end. Monday I got to be with May-May. May-May and I are gardening buddies of the best kind. We can whore ourselves at nurseries with the best of them, and when we are together, it's non-stop fun, especially as we drive by the wholesalers and give them the double birdie salute. We came up with some fresh ideas for her side yard, then headed out to scope some plants for the site. Before we knew it, it was time for me to head for homo.

As I headed homo, I had to stop by the old job and see my Cha-Cha. I've been a terrible friend lately and not kept in touch. I should be beaten and publicly shamed, but he might enjoy that way to much. So I settled for a drive by at the office and really did surprise him. It was so great to see him, to hear that sassy talk and laugh with him over coffee again. It was just not long enough. I hope he know's that he means a lot to me. I miss his wit and charms so much. It's just not the same anymore. While I threaten to do so every day, there just isn't anyone that can replace my Cha-Cha.

Finally on the road north, with the sky blue, the sun shining, I cast my eyes about me and smiled at my good fortune. I only got to be with a few good friends, for only a short amount of time, but coming together was as if no time had passed. This to me, is the truest sign of friendship. Some may not understand my relationships with people, having different kinds of friendships or different definitions, but for me, to have these people as well as others, be a part of even a smidgen of my life, is so golden and precious.

Christmas??? Already?

2005-10-18T20:39:00.000-07:00

It's not even Halloween yet and already Christmas doings are in the making. I got back to work today, and I was immediately sequestered into detailed planning for this years Christmas Open House. There are two people involved in the planning of the decorations and displays for the outside of the nursery and I'm one of them. It's not that I don't like to decorate for Christmas, I just kind of need to be in the mood or the spirit of Christmas to really enjoy it. I'm so not ready for Christmas, I'm still raking leaves and thinking of jack-o-lanterns.

That's the drawbacks of being in the retail world, holidays are weeks and weeks ahead of schedule. The store people were at buying shows for Christmas in July. Looks like I need to shift gears and quick. We have about 2 1/2 weeks until the Christmas Open House. Tomorrow we begin the process of going through the boxes of Christmas Crap to figure out what we have. The thing that's hardest from me, is that I'm the outsider on Christmas. Everyone else has done this role before and no one wanted to do it again so they nominated me, AND THE DID IT WHEN I WASN'T EVEN THERE TO DECLINE. My boss came up to me that day and said, oh by the way, we nominated you to be the Christmas coordinator for the nursery this year. Me, "Okay, what does that mean exactly?"

I'll tell you what it means people, it means that I have to try and come up with ideas, prioritize the projects, organize the people, delegate the tasks and hope that it all comes out in the end. I thought it was going to be just me decorating some displays in the nursery area, just swap out my current displays of fall color for season appropriate material. It's so much more than that. It's everything from the North Tills, to the back door of the nursery. I know none of this makes an ounce of sense to you, you have never been there, but it's a big area, trust me. I can't wait to see how many time I hear the words, "but it's always been done this way" when ever I have a new idea. *sigh*

I do think it will be okay, ultimately, but it's a bit daunting when there are still so many unknowns. I know it will come together as I get a better idea of what I'm working with. I think we have some good ideas and hopefully, we'll be able to execute most of them.

Pooper Friday!

2005-10-14T06:04:00.000-07:00

I sit down here every night with the intent to post something other than a picture. I just don't seem to have the energy lately, especially with working at the nursery all day. It really kicks my ass, but in a totally good way. It's a huge change from working inside, and to add to it, it's getting colder, wetter and that really makes your body work even harder. It's definitely getting easier though. I can feel my body getting used to the movements and the demands.

Another reason that I haven't been posting much, is because of Comcast Digital Video Recordings (DVR). I'm staying up too late each night trying to watch shows that I/we record each week. There are so many shows that are on right now, it's the only way we can possibly watch them. Some of the favorites at the moment are Desperate Housewives (duh), Commander in Chief (reeeaally liking this one A LOT), Boston Legal (hating that Monica Potter is no longer on there, what is that about?), Surface (LOVE this one. Total Sci-fi addict.), Lost (DUH), and Supernatural (how HOT HOT HOT is Jensen Ackles??? Can I getta HELL YA?). There's also America's Next Top Model, City Gardner, Debbie Travis Face Lift...and Nick has more that he records. You would think that we spend hours in front of the television, but in reality, we don't because of DVR. We fast forward through the commercials, the whole point to recording shows.

Another reason that I haven't been posting much, just not feeling it. I need to carve out time to write about things, pure and simple. I still have lot's to talk about, thoughts to ponder, just not making the time. I just haven't found that balance yet with the new schedule. Like now, it's almost 9:30pm and I need to get ready for tomorrow, and get to bed. I'm exhausted.

I really miss everyone on here. I'm sorry that I've become so remote and uninvolved. I've totally lost touch with what's happening. I guess life is taking a lot of my time right now. Nick is just now getting over that flu that I had the other week. I feel bad for him, what with back surgery, then a cold and now the flu. Let's hope this is the end of it, because seriously, I'm tired of taking care of his ass. I love that ass, but it's time for a break, and he agrees, he's sick of being sick.

Other than the illness, things really are going well. It's fall, I've got a lot of work to do in the yard before it gets to wet. Time to start winterizing the house, cleaning up the garden and plant the trees from this summer. I've got a bunch of new bulbs to plant this fall too. It never ends, but it's time for this post to do so. Good night everyone.

Fall Flowers and Fruits

2005-10-06T08:01:00.000-07:00

Feeling Good! Running off to work now. XO Internet.

I have 45 minutes to get ready for work...

2005-10-05T07:27:00.000-07:00

So this is gonna be quick. Sorry, I've been a total lazy ass about blogging lately and I know it. Let's face it, the purpose seems to be influx at the moment. Before, when working at the company, it was a way to let off a lot of excess energy and thought. Now, I seem to not have a lot of that going on. I don't know if it's just because I'm so physically tired every night after work or what. WE certainly have had a lot going on lately and both of have said more than once, it would be nice to get back to a normal mode...ANY DAY NOW would be good.

I'm over the flu it seems. Let me be honest when I say, I have NEVER shit so much in my life. I didn't eat for days and still I shit, if you can call watery green suff shit, and I believe you can. I think smell is the qualifier on that one. Immodium AD couldn't even tackle this one right away. Well, the shitting has stopped and now resumed at more of a normal consistency. I'm eating again and will be going into the nursery today. Harlow has no idea that I'm leaving her today. She has been an excellent nurse maid, well, snuggler is more like it. She just laid next to me the whole time.

Okay, it's late, I gotta get going. Sorry for the short blurb. Thanks for all the well wishes!!!

Greenie is feeling green...I've got the flu.

2005-10-02T13:21:00.000-07:00

101 temperature, Montazumas Revenge, Sweats...Ya, it's the flu.

I'll be back later.

Guest Pooper Friday!

2005-09-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

This is Misa, we met her last Wednesday at the field. She is 3 months old and a complete sweetheart. At 3 months, she was already as big as Harlow. I wanted to scoop her up and take her home. Her previous owner had a heart attack and died. She was in the house for a full weekend with the body before they found it. No, she didn't dine on the corpse either. I know you guys, you were thinking it. LOL!!!

It's Meme Time Boys and Girls...Tagged Again

2005-09-29T22:04:00.000-07:00

It's late, I'm tired and sore having worked all day in the wind and rain. I came in here at the last moment before bed just to check on messages. Earlier today our internet went out do to the weather so I thought, just a quick browse. Let this be a lesson to you, never check in at the last moment. Why you ask? Oh...I'll tell you why, because you just might find yourself TAGGED!!! *cue dramatic music here* Duh! Duh! DUUUUUUH!!!!!!

Seeing as how it was from the adorable and sexy Ern, I could not pass it up. So I did what any self respecting greenie would do and participated.

The Rules:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

March 9th, 2005 Gay Marriage Debate is now up to the WA Supreme Court

"This is challenging a huge cultural behemoth here."

See the other side of this is, you get to in turn tag others as part of the enjoyment. So here goes...I tag my big sista' Susie, my buddy Metro and one more for good measure, the suburban queen of mini vans Circus Kelli.

Just for Laughs

2005-09-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

In light of recent heavier thoughts and activities (Seriously, I've been lifting a lot of shit at the nursery and I'm sore.) I thought I would post this, one of my favorite shots from our trip. GOOD ASS!!! NO? LOL!

Things around Homo Central have been good, that is until Nick came down with a cold. I spent a couple of days around the house doing odd chores like laundry, cleaning and getting ready for fall. I also whipped up a yummy apple crisp, seeing as how it's Apple Season I thought it a good idea.

Upon our return, I also found that our tomatoes had all rippened at the same time and have been diligently making sauce. Last night we had fresh tomato sauce with our Rigattoni and Italian sausage. A little fresh grated parmesano-regiano and it was perfecto! It was a good lunch too. The rest of the sauce went into freezer containers for later.

Tomorrow morning I have to be to the nursery at 7am to do inventory. I spent the bulk of today getting Japanese Maples, Bamboo and deciduous shrubs organized for easy counting. Tomorrow ought to be lot's of fun. NOT! With that, I'm calling it good here for now.

I just want to say thank you to you faithful readers and commentors. I know I haven't been around here much and I don't really get to sit here at the computer like I used to at the old job. I do visit sites and try to keep up, but it's just not as easy as it used to be. For that I'm sorry, but I have to say that I'm so happy to be where I am right now. I know you understand.

Pre-Fall Cleanup and Aroma Therapy

2005-09-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

When ever I sit down here to write something, get something off my mind, I find myself wandering everywhere but here. For all the changes and the improvements to the current status quo, it seems that my A.D.D. is still alive and kicking. I know that for me, this is a clear sign that some things are still unchanged around here.

Today while hauling wheelbarrow loads of gravel over to the driveway area I kept looking at the perennial beds around the front walkway and thinking, what I really need to do is clean that mess up. The other part of me that's engaged in hauling gravel says, "that's just so like you isn't it? Can't finish anything. Best you keep doing this, else when the rain comes you'll really be pissed when it's all mud again like last year." So back up the hill to get more gravel I go and as I'm passing the Birch trees that I purchased earlier this spring I think, I really need to figure out where those trees are going to live. So I set the wheelbarrow down and study them for the hundredth time that week and try to figure out where they should really go. Meanwhile, the other part of me that's trying to get something done butts in again, "Let's try to focus and do something productive today, shall we."

So I fill up the wheelbarrow and start down the slope to the driveway and dump my load again. And you know what happened next? Yup, my eyes wander over to the perennial bed again. This time, I tell self to shut up already. There's enough gravel for now and that we can haul a little more tomorrow night and that the weather forecast is dry for the next week anyway. This flower bed is a mess and an embarrassment, let's get it done.

I reached around to my clippers hanging from my belt and unlocked the clasp and headed for the walkway. There before me laid the dregs of summer blooms, weeds and some serious aroma therapy. That's right, you heard me, aroma therapy. My perennial bed is filled with lavender, thyme, salvias and basil. Just reaching in and around the plants to pull weeds sends tendrils of fragrance, so you can imagine the heady aroma of me deadheading, weeding, pruning and pulling out all these delicious scents. The lavender is on it's second flush of blooms, so I painstakingly removed the old ones. The salvias are almost finished, and my favorite, Salvia Involucrata was in dire need of pruning. The African Blue Basil I planted earlier is spent but still the smell of basil is at full strength as I grab and pull the tired plants from the bed. By the time I finished the walkway Nick was just getting home from work. I had just put the last of the yard debris in the bin. As I pull the ear buds from my iPod out of my ears, he approaches the steps and asks, "what are you up to?" I sweep my arms around as in, please notice and he sees the improvement and seals his approval with kisses.

Sometimes our lives get cluttered with a lot of spent emotions, tired blooms if you will. I realized tonight that I may be making improvements in my life, but I'm not really clearing out any clutter. I still have some unresolved issues, weeds, in my emotional garden, even though I'm cultivating a lot of new and improved varieties at the same time. I know from past experience, that sometimes those unresolved things, can crush any progress with something new. This concerns me greatly. I don't want to have that happen.

For the most part, I'm not one to put off dealing with things that really matter, but the fact is, there is one issue that is still just laying there untouched. I've yet to deal with my biological mom issue and I'm not really bothered by it, other than I feel like I need to close the chapter. It's a lot like that one shrub in the landscape that just doesn't belong there anymore. Oh sure, in the beginning it looked great and it was really prized for it's role in the scheme of things, but little by little the landscape changed, new elements were introduced, new hardscapes erected, a retaining wall here, a walkway leading in a different direction and pretty soon that one element is so far back in the layout that it really isn't valid anymore. The greenie in me sees it's worth, recognizes that it's still green, tries to bloom, but wishes that it wasn't there all the same. My attitude hasn't changed much over the months. Part of me still thinks that it should just go, yank it out and compost it. Another part of me wonders if it shouldn't stay, just in another part of the landscape, somewhere that it might fit better, change it's role and give it another purpose. Perhaps the answer, offer it an opportunity to play a different role, let it decide if it wants to thrive there. If not, then at least we tried and in the end it just wasn't meant to be, but I won't put anything else in it's place. I want to look over at that spot and remember what used to be there. I won't forget.