So I spent the majority of the weekend outside away from the powerful lure of my sleek, elegant G4 and it's sexy monitor that holds me captive with it's vast 21" surface and color rendering that is to die for. I think that even Nicho was impressed with my self control and limited time in the back bedroom of the house.
Now that I'm sporting my first sun kissed glow of the season, I suspect that I'll be spending less and less time online and more of it outside. So if I haven't made comments or posts, please don't feel like I've abandoned the blogosphere, I promise to try and maintain some pressence here and at your local hangout too.
Last week, I got a little bitter about some issues that hit the media, one of those being the Texas legislature and their proposed ban against Gays and Lesbians being foster parents under the guise of 'protecting our children'. First and foremost, I want to thank all of you that commented and were so very supportive of the idea that I would be a perfectly good parent. I believe that too. Secondly, I wanna say that I'm not usually that sarcastic with a blanket comment like that. I'm usually a much more thoughtful individual when it comes to defending rights etc.
I'm always chastising Nicho for lumping Christians as a whole into one bucket, because it certainly is not true that all Christians are the same. The same is true for the good people of Texas, I know that there are people there who believe in a fair and equal standing for all members of this country. One individual who reminded me that people are capable of change or acceptance, is Andrea, who commented on her traditional values and beliefs, but was willing to accept the fact that just because I'm gay, doesn't make me any less of parent. It reminded me that people are able to adjust their levels of acceptance. This is something that I have always believed, something that I try very hard to hold onto. My belief in humanity is what keeps me from slipping into the angry homo mode.
As a missionary, I spent a great deal of time meeting all walks of life. At first I thought my sole purpose was to change these individuals, convert them to my faith's way of thinking. As time went on, I found myself struggling with the approach of my senior missionaries. Something in me was so conflicted by what we were trying to do. At some point I became a senior missionary and I had more control over our (my companion and I)approach. Instead of drumming the same old script, we found ourselves becoming invested in the lives of the people we came into contact with. I was in the South East Asian program in Georgia and spent almost a year working with Lao speaking people. I didn't know a drop of Lao and neither did my companion. We had no knowledge of Lao culture or social interactions. It was the toughest assignment of my mission, but by far the most rewarding experience of my life.
Instead of focusing on a message, we learned to focus on getting to know and understand their perspective on life. In a short amount of time, we found ourselves embraced by this group of individuals that are forever a part of who I am. The lessons they taught me have shaped who I am today. I never thought that their lessons of struggle and survival, of starting over in a foreign land and finding a new way of life would ever have any bearing on me at that time, but I have reflected on them constantly through out my life as I have struggled against obstacles or hurrdles.
While I know that we currently are dealing with so many social and moral issues here that seem bitterly unfair, even unjust, they cannot compare to the attrocities that are happening everywhere as I type. I know that I'm fortunate to have the liberties that I do, the freedoms that I enjoy. I know that I'm wealthy beyond many both spiritually and monitarily.
I want to believe in humanity, I want to have faith in you and your ability to open your minds, in your ability to open other people's minds to the idea that we are all part of the same society; that we all contribute positively as well as negatively. We can't all be the same or we risk losing that diversity that makes life rich and fulfilling. The image of a tapastry or a flower border being all the same color and same texture is boring and lacks visual appeal, but when you throw in other colors and textures that compliment one another you see how they accentuate the best parts of the other. People are no different, because of the love I received from the Lao's, they brought out those facets of who I am and enhanced them. I can only hope that I was able to do the same for them in some small way. I cannot imagine that I gave them nearly as much as they have given me, for it has lasted for more than 10 years now and still I am able to pull from that resevoir of love.
So when I hear about the sanctity of marriage, the safety of our children it's hard to not feel like we are stepping backwards, but I remind myself to have faith in humanity, to trust that what is 'RIGHT' and 'FAIR', all things that are 'JUST', will prevail...eventually. We all have an obligation to lead by example, nothing is ever gained by throwing around words of hate and intollerance. So Texas, I'm sorry for being intollerant and mean spirited towards the good people who reside there. I believe in you too.
29 comments:
We all get angry Greeny. It's ok. I really can't imagine being put in a position where, because of my sexual identity I'm not allowed the same rights as others. That's why I'm so passionate about educating the Hetero Right about the reality of the situation. As you know, so much of it has to do with fear and a lack of real life experience.
I'd love to hold a local meet and greet type of thing where the Gay community and the local church folk get together and have coffee. I'd like to do it once a month or so. So instead of "those Gays" it maybe would be Greeny and Nic and instead of "those Christians" it might become Phil and Nancy. Know what I mean?
I think that's a great idea. I try to use my garden as a way to engage my neighbors. It's working, they stop by and comment on the improvements. It's a great way for them to meet us.
Is this broken???
lmaorotf - 'angry homo mode'
still, I totally feel for you and think yer wonderful!...not meaning to be insensitive here in any shape or form; but man, reading that 'angry homo mode' ~ I just busted a gut
U R A Q T (now I'll knock it off w/ the acronyms)
Well said, Greenie. I was especially moved by your experience on your mission, and how you were able to transcend the "numbers, numbers, NUMBERS!" mentality and actually do some real good, and meet some truly inspirational and humbling people.
Yay, you. I'm sure Texas accepts your apology.
Annejelynn: Like Susie said today, just keepin' it real. I have tendency to get to serious, so I try to level it out by not taking myself to serious.
Cat: It was so like that at times. I was very fortunate in that I enjoyed a level of success that really transended the whole purpose of a mission by church standards.
Not sure I can add anything here, that hasn’t been said before. It’d be nice if tolerance and understanding leaned more closely to acceptance on occasion. Sometimes the political sway goes against reasoning. As usual, well done Greenie.
I love Amanda B.'s idea of a Gay people/Christian people Meet and Greet :)
I am so blown away by what I just read, so excited and encouraged and curious, that I am going to have to come back after I've had time to process it. But for now, here's me giving you a standing ovation. So proud of you. And I also want to say, for now, you are still a missionary. On your blog, in your garden, you're still teaching people something about increasing love and goodness in the world. To quote my little brother, MWAH. See ya later.
hi, greenie. I wanted to add that I printed out your post to show Jif, who also applauds you. And I will show it to others, including my pastor (who, BTW, will also applaud you). As is often the case with you, what you said, what you did, here, represents some of the best that human hearts can come up with. (Pardon my poor grammar;) I did not think you were particularly negative the other day. I think everyone knew it was a "heat of the moment" kind of post. And it is on your blog. Face-to-face with another human, I imagine you would have chosen different words. That's one of the plusses (and sometimes minuses) about blogging. YOU are the kind of person who can be an effective lobbyist, advocate, peacemaker, because you are willing to pause for a moment and consider that people who see the world differently from you are not automatically the enemy. They are people with different backgrounds, different life experiences, people who have access to different information, and who hang out with different people than you do. Some of them may choose to be your enemy; but many will not choose that course, if they see that YOU are a person of goodwill, regardless of who THEY are. Your post so captures that.
And your words here the other day, offering to answer questions about homosexuality -- just amazed me. I'm going to take you up on that. You referred to "angry homo mode," which is amusing, but part of what makes it amusing is that readers KNOW what you're talking about. My question: from those of the "angry" persuasion...will you/would you, be criticized, disrespected, etc., for taking the kind of stand that you take in this post, for trying to reach out, rather than ridicule and condemn? I have seen such things happen with issues of racial prejudice, when one person of a minority approaches the issue more gently than those with a more militant style.
That is all. For now. I send you love.
uh oh now look -- how much space I've taken up! (not)Sorry!
Very well said Greenie.
If it makes you feel any better, sometimes I get into angry HETERO mode when I am defending all of my gay/lesbian friends.
Mr.B: Just the fact that you encourage is more than adding an opinion. Thank you for your continued support.
Torrie: Thank you for being a defender and friend of MoNation.
Susie:
As always, it's not enough to contain your goodwill, admiration and support to your own blog, but you have to selflessly spread it around to other blogs. For that I thank you. You honor me with your words.
As stated, I will answer questions about 'MY' homosexuality. I can't possibly reflect the whole of the MoNation as the range of individuals is as diverse as any other. What I can do, is share what my experience is and has been. My understanding from my point of view.
Thanks for the LOVE!!!
Hi Greenie, I know I am a little late to this topic. I read it yesterday and again today. I think your post is beautiful and thank you for sharing it with us.
Hey August, big hug for you gurl! I appreciate your presence here so much.
LOVE'em if you got'em
Hi Greenie - what a wonderful post. I'm just amazed at what you must have experienced in your life as a missionary and beyond. What a rich, soulful, and caring person you are - you should be in politics to make it a better place!
Greenie, your words truly touched me. I have lived in Texas for the past four years, and having come from the more liberal Northeast, I have come to realize that the social foundation of Texas is so very different from where I was born and raised. I was raised in a Republican family, but I swear that Yankee Republicans are different than the guys down here in Texas. I wasn't raised with hatred or fear for people with different lifestyles, or a different color skin or different religions. Down here, I have come across so many people who have so much fear, and these social beliefs are definitely resounding loud and clear in the legislature.
When I heard that they want to ban homosexuals from being foster parents, I as appalled. With all the thousands of children in the state of Texas that are mistreated and placed in foster care, to eliminate an entire group of people from being loving parents is despicable. You, Greenie, would be a wonderful parent, and I know many gay people that would be, too. This fear that gays and lesbians will spread their "evil ways" is just disgusting. I know that the good people of Texas, the ones that aren't extremist right wing fanatics, will see how ridiculous this is. I know, I for one, will rally on the side of the gays and lesbians, and most importantly, the children who might be missing out on two wonderful parents.
The other day, at Six Flags, there was a crowd of 13 year olds in front of me in line. A tv monitor was playing the Ellen Degeneres show, and one of those kids said "I hate her. She's gay". This shocked me, that such a young child could have such hatred. Until I heard a little voice say, "Hating someone because they're gay is just hateful. Ellen is cool. And my aunt is gay". It was another 12 or 13 year old in their crowd, and he was the smallest in the bunch. The other kid just shut up. I smile to myself, knowing that not all is lost in the world.
Now that's what I'm talkin' bout here peeps...Katie, thank you for that. Out of the mouths of babes...and the one that spouted Hate..that's just the built in recorder that comes with children. Someone around them says that.
Mammarama:I don't know if I have that kind of stamina to do politics, but I can keep writing and reaching out.
Greenie, I live in Michigan where they had that awful legislation to ban civil unions, etc. And it passed. I make sure I bitch about that to everyone who is within earshot, 'cause I think it sucks donkey dick, and not in a fun, Tijuana way.
You make me proud to be a Friend to the Mo.
It's nice to come back to such an eloquent and heartfelt post. Thanks, Greenie. I can always count on you for that. You have the perfect combination of passion and silliness that makes people like you.
It is an interesting point that Katie made about the variety of people that are Republicans. Not all are full of hate and fear. Sometimes the loudest ones get to speak for everyone. I feel that way about Christians at times as well. That the "religious right" is vocal in politics and the news, and people assume that they speak for anyone who calls themselves "Christian." But many of us have different views about everything from politics to the purpose of "missions."
So we all have to just make our way in the world, speaking for what we believe and doing our best to love rather than hate.
Greenman,
I wanted to write last week, but just wasn't sure what to say.
I am glad you are posting about these subjects. My sister is gay. She is married to a wonderful woman (13 years now) with a 19 year old son and two girls, 3 and 7. Right now they are legally married, because the anti-gay-marriage people have not yet been able to overturn the legislation. And I hope they never do.
About a year ago my sister and her partner became foster parents, meaning: they went to classes and training and individual and couple's counseling, had their backgrounds checked including criminal and civil investigations and looky-loos examining their tax returns.
In December, two young sisters were removed in an emergency from their home where the man of the house was sexually and physically abusing them. Their mother was also participating in the abuse. That is all I can say about that. These two people are now in jail and will have no parental rights again to these girls. They were hetero, but that doesn't mean all hetero people are bad. These folks were just terribly damaged and unfortunately they took it out on two innocent girls.
My sister and her partner are providing the girls with a safe and loving home until there is a family ready to adopt them permanently. They needed a home with no men or boys, and so in those special circumstances, a lesbian house with two little girls was a great thing for them.
Thank goodness we have a foster care system. I grew up in it for several years in Washington state myself - though, back then it was almost the dark ages. And they didn't even try to find out if a family was doing it just to get money or to have a permanent babysitter.
So many kids need loving homes. It is hurtful to deprive them of the care and love they need. I think they should pick foster families based on the love the families have to give, commitment to nurturing healthy relationships and healthy individuals, and the safety and security and stability of the household. Nothing else.
Greenie, this is a beautiful post. I think I love you.
I too question the sanity of many residents here in Texas. As an example, I live in what's called a dry city. Only recently was it decided that wine could be sold within city limits. (Beer and wine coolers have been allowed.) It was amazing how many fought this change, using the most illogical reasons, like "The teens are going to get wine and get drunk!" Yeah, right. I know from personal experience that the first choice of most high school drinkers is beer, the cheapest beer possible.
Considering the view on a significantly smaller issue, it's easier to see how the logic can go so awry on the bigger issues.
Greenie, I think you're great. I think you'd make a great parent, from what I can tell by reading about who you are via this blog. Reading an awesome gay man's blog is like a breath of fresh air. I'm so glad I found you!
Oh, and before I forget - don't forget to show us your funny duds for this week's SPD.
greenie, I gotta tell somebody who loves me and won't think I'm being a snit -- come and see who visited me. I am DYING -- in a good way...
Wow. Dis is un inspirational blog!
You have totally changed my opinion.
I vill go to Bush und I vill explain to him dat ven de mainstream public are understanding dis, he must be changing his ideas. I vill tell him to come vith me if he wants his Presidency to live!
Your Friend,
Da Govenator
Would you look at that? I just came to see if you were getting any comments here.
Very impressive.
This is my first time to your site. Susie "sent" me. I have read your comments on many other blogs but have never had the chance to read yours. Very open. I like the way you think.
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